old poems

A poem from an old journal. I was 19 or 20 years old an never capitalized "I." Oh, just read a little more along in the journal and based on the boyfriend (haha. ugh.) I was 20. It didn't work out with that guy... but to be honest, I don't think I was writing about him. Like all poets, I was writing to the future.

"i desire to know French as a native language
if that is the Tongue that could keep you close,
i desire to sing you Lullabies
if those were the Melodies with which i could set you free.
if i could just Hold your hand and trust what was between us,
i feel that the vacancy of my life could end
flashing, sparkling, bright.

In my nighttime, i Hear the quiet voice hearkening
and my soul yearns to reach your country
for i am borne of many as are you
and in our breath that lands of our birth
intermingle and in these dreams and kisses
we answer and i fly

stringing smiles along
the pine bristles against a window
smoke in my horizon
and the incense of the sea

whether it be sunny or dark or dry or floods
the memories of
oh
how i love you so
and oh god
even in my drowsy state
my muscles tense and relax to moments of you
and years of my life
are miles away, dear, and All i
truthfully, honestly desire is to be always falling into you."