tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47468174445919574322024-03-05T05:34:58.807-08:00Erin CarereUpdates, essays, poems, stuff
Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comBlogger232125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-60786060475092180192024-02-14T08:33:00.000-08:002024-02-14T08:33:59.959-08:00Oracle<p> I found a long lost poem; one I wrote at age... 21 or so.</p><p><br /></p><p>And lest I lose it again (although I remember it when I sing):</p><p><b><br /></b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>ORACLE</b></p><p><span style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: white; text-align: -webkit-center;">ORACLOracle</span><span style="background-color: black; caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: white; text-align: -webkit-center;"></span></p><p style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: white; text-align: -webkit-center;"></p><table style="color: black; font-variant-caps: normal; width: 325px;"><tbody><tr><td>I walked numb and drunk<br />to the oracle at Delphi<br />that I might inhale Pythia's smoke<br />and gaze into tomorrow<br /><br />I met a priest<br />who drank the wine of wisdom<br />he told me to go home<br />but instead I stole his cup<br /><br />and the gods have grown <br />bored with my possibilities<br />I can tell by the way my prayers are left<br />bleeding in the dust<br /><br />over the entrance to the temple<br />an inscription reads<br /> Know Thyself<br /><br />I know my gods<br />I can smell them on my hands<br />I kneel at an altar made of rain<br /><br />but i want to be Athena<br />babies in my oceanic belly<br />gods of war sucking at my breast<br /><br />Oh, Oracle, do not leave me<br />alone with the vanishing smoke<br />ask of me something I can give<br /><br />but the Oracle does not ask<br />it tells<br />and in this darkness where I stumble<br />I discover<br /><br />I do not know the question I want to ask</td></tr></tbody></table>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-59926031490940500882022-12-17T00:04:00.004-08:002022-12-17T00:04:30.189-08:00Quatrains: December 17th, 2022: Wake Up!<p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Quatrains: December 17th, 2022: <i>Wake Up!</i></span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">In the ancient and eternal city</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Missing the signs of God’s pure face.</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Seeking religion in selfish self pity,</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">In shopping for leather, trying on lace.</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Looking for meaning in Babylon,</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">In clouds, in darkening sky and rain,</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Not children nor carols, nor trumpeter swans.</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">But in youth and wealth. In fame.<i> In vain.</i></span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Where is love? How would do we know?</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">What’s the point of how we live?</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">We know this world is fleeting, though,</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Every day emptied with less to give.</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">No! You’ve lost your mind in your revels, or</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">An abominable lack of imagination and love.</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Wake up, O blessed traveller.</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">You’re asleep again, wake up. <i>Wake up…</i></span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-69844410018149023692022-11-29T06:11:00.003-08:002022-11-29T06:11:48.495-08:00 Tinnitus, 4:48 am (poem)<p style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; text-align: center;">Tinnitus, 4:48 am</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Ringing silence in my ears.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>My husband’s gentle breathing.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>The air filter. A car outside.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>This high pitched tone within,</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>A presence eternal </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>And louder as the years go on.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Is it the Divine waking me up at dawn,</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Secrets to distribute to its </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Devoted aspirant, me? or </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Some biological problem soon to give</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Medical bills galore; Dizziness and</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Thundering pressure;</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>My greatest hope is </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>It is a symptom of allergies</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Or migraines </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>As every other potential diagnosis-</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Which I cannot get with our current insurance anyway</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>As it covers almost nothing-</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Is dreadful, dreadful.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>At least there’s </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Something always to look forward to,</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>(Sly lift at the corners of my mouth) </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>But the holy spirit does not like snarky jokes.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Cynicism is not the domain of my lord of kindness.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>I know not from whence that comes in me</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Only that sometimes I delight in its</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Dark pleasures </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>But I do believe in peace and </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>My husband emits heat like an oven.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>I have thrown off a weighted blanket,</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>One he had placed tenderly </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Just on my side. Just for me</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>And listening to him now</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>I think</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>I have never loved anyone</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>The way I love you,</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>My love</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>For this marriage is</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>A blessing and</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>You are my rock</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>And we squabble daily but</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>I don’t even need words like faith and trust because</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>You are you so deeply and</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Completely</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>You</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>And you are so utterly the definition of</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Faith </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>And trust</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>I know I’ll never have to worry until</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>The terrible day one of us…</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>The air filter kicks up a notch</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Randomly, it seems</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Why in the middle of the night</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Would it suddenly have to</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Filter so strongly?</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Is it because I awoke</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>And am emitting a different</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Chemical in my breathing? Or</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Some other presence as</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>I shiver—</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>A car speeds by </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>And then fast,</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Ephemeral,</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>It’s gone</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>And now I am awake</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><i><span>Sul serio,</span></i></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>For real, for the day, </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Undeniably. A</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>New chapter and</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>There’s something in this moment</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>I don’t want to lose</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>But I will carry it with me</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Throughout the day</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Whether I want to or not</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Although I desire greatly yes to</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Bring forth</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>The loudest sound, that chorus of ringing angels in my ears</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>Ever present</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>But not louder</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>If I listen</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span>To the heartbeat of my love.</span></p>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-49729294169045256642022-11-01T07:46:00.000-07:002022-11-01T07:46:05.375-07:00Ofrenda <p>My neighbors have a beautiful display-</p><p>red and yellow flowers, bowls of mango and gourds, sugar skulls.</p><p>Photos of those who have passed lovingly placed in the center.</p><p><br /></p><p>I pass by respectfully and dream of my ofrenda. </p><p>I imagine shopping for supplies,</p><p>lovingly attending to it throughout this thinning of the veils.</p><p><br /></p><p>But I have no photo for the spirit of a daughter</p><p>who never took a single breath, never emerged from</p><p>my womb with a cry of "I am, mama! I am!"</p><p><br /></p><p>Never.</p><p><br /></p><p>I've heard people say a woman my age without children is selfish.</p><p>They do not know what they are saying.</p><p>They do not know how hard I tried.</p><p><br /></p><p>And yet, perhaps I am. </p><p>Selfish, I mean.</p><p><br /></p><p>To weep for a pain I will never feel,</p><p>to indulge in hours of daydreaming over the most mundane of things.</p><p>Teenaged fights. Picking fallen leaves. Searching for four-leaf clovers.</p><p><br /></p><p>If I had my daughter--</p><p>curly black hair like her father,</p><p>big eyes like mine. </p><p><br /></p><p>A little crossed,</p><p>but we'll get surgery for that when the time comes.</p><p>Dimples in her cheeks and one in her chin.</p><p><br /></p><p>Bright, interested in science and the natural world,</p><p>A lover of Napoli's football club,</p><p>Fiercely brave and loyal.</p><p><br /></p><p>At times, cold to those who've wronged her,</p><p>unable to hide her true feelings</p><p>and disdainful of those who do.</p><p><br /></p><p>Eternally giving to whom she loves, though,</p><p>And like her parents,</p><p>Sometimes she gives too much.</p><p><br /></p><p>On this year's Day of the Dead</p><p>I cannot create an altar to honor those I've lost</p><p>because I find myself still mourning</p><p><br /></p><p>the one who will never be born.</p>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-67278765343015006702021-03-26T09:42:00.004-07:002022-03-31T10:28:34.535-07:00What is it like to be alive?<p> I imagine this is the kind of question that makes sense only once you've had an alternative experience.</p><p>I think about a vision I had once while meditating in a cave in the Himalayas along the Mother Ganga.</p><p>I was in all darkness, cold, but not so cold, lost in the darkness until I smelled- something earthy- fecund, perhaps- and above me I felt a sort of spreading warmth. I pushed up against- who knows what- it was so dark there was nothing visible- and a pressure below and within urged me to keep pushing, pushing, and above me the warmth kept spreading and then opening and softening and suddenly I burst through and I could see I was a sprout, and rapidly I watched "my life" pass before me, I grew tall and slender and bloomed and around me were all roses and I was a rose and I could smell the blossoms and sometimes I yearned for the sun and sometimes the dew came and I drank and I laughed and sometimes night fell and I closed in upon myself, and eventually I watched pieces of myself, pink and vibrant no longer, now falling all around me and scattered by the wind, and then...</p><p>It was over.</p><p>And I think this is what it is like to be alive.</p><p>Of course the monk in India will have many different experiences than the woman in Los Angeles, and both of us in 2021 (or 2007, or 1984) have a different experience compared to 1532 or 400 BC or a million years ago, in a way.</p><p>But we are all made of stardust, so...</p><p>To be alive as me right now means a million different things. It means constant interruption by the world, intrusions into my thoughts and my writing and my music, and yet if I shut everything out for fifteen blessed minutes or an hour suddenly there is an eruption and someone, somewhere needs something; I need those things for means of survival, for paying bills and not shutting off technology that provides my income and dreams to flourish, I find myself lonely without these relationships in my life, I am not just contained into one singular being, me and my thoughts, I am actually myself and my relationships and my works and my intrusions and my culture and the nature that precedes all of the above-</p><p>And to be alive now also means to expand greater than the sum of all those fears and needs and hungers and devouring desire and to</p><p>Shrink back into the demand of this moment, the essay I have assigned myself for a novel I can never stop thinking about, a character who wakes me up in the middle of the night, her need to be alive when she has never yet existed outside of my brain and words I type endlessly into a slim silver screen with a keyboard attached, listening to Cosmic Dancer on repeat, a song that doesn't even have a thing to do with the story of the character (let's call her Joan) or the time in which she actually would have been alive had she been a "real" person, but in listening to this song and allowing myself to just forget myself and my name and let myself dance myself into the tune or is it the tomb</p><p>The feelings that swell inside of me</p><p>Of being alive</p><p>Joan, she wants these things too,</p><p>You, me, the reader, the writer, we want these things,</p><p>To know constantly that</p><p>I am</p><p>that I am alive</p><p>that I am dancing,</p><p>out of the womb, right to the tomb,</p><p>now I'm just copying a great songwriter and all is lost once more.</p><p>And this is being alive.</p><p>But this slim silver screen, this keyboard, they are, right now, a part of me, and therefore as alive as I am, which is approximately at 67% because if I allow myself the full awakening of my existence my head begins to explode but</p><p>here it comes, can you feel it?</p><p>You're reading this, you're alive too, can you feel the soft expansion at the edges,</p><p>the light urging your forward out of the darkness toward the warmth and the gentle pressure to </p><p>breathe, to breathe, to breathe to</p><p>feel all that shit you didn't really want to you had been ignoring you had been</p><p>where had you been </p><p>where have you been all this time?</p><p>No matter, you're here now.</p><p>Let's dance.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GMfjA4gyEcU" width="320" youtube-src-id="GMfjA4gyEcU"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-75609309344986966212020-12-26T16:21:00.006-08:002020-12-26T16:21:57.783-08:00Alabama Snake - the Darlene highlight reel<p> Hey y'all! Here's a short version of the highlights of my work as Darlene in "Alabama Snake" on HBO.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="380" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_fRZslRKgJs" width="457" youtube-src-id="_fRZslRKgJs"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-1897612555004151432020-12-09T10:47:00.004-08:002020-12-09T10:47:59.892-08:00Alabama Snake premieres TONIGHT!<p> </p><p><span class="">Last night Carlo Carere and I attended the Drive In Movie Premiere of the HBO film, Alabama Snake. I appear as Darlene, a southern Holiness Preacher’s wife who is nearly killed by rattlesnake bite, the perpetrator of which is in question! <br /><br />It’s a documentary and it’s also an incredibly wild story with a ton of filmmaking flair! Uniquely American, too. We’ve been seeing great reviews and I wanted to share a few behind the scenes pics with you as well! <br /><br />It premieres tonight in HBO and then is available immediately after on HBO Max. Maybe later I’ll share a few of the really scary bts pics! <br /><br />I want to add that the makeup artists and effects folks really did amazing work in this project. Also, my fellow cast mates were really wonderful. Your heart’s gonna open almost as wide as your mouth on this story!!! <br /><br /><a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/alabamasnake/" tabindex="0">#alabamasnake</a> <a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/laactress/" tabindex="0">#laactress</a> <a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/screenwriter/" tabindex="0">#screenwriter</a> <a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/screenwriting/" tabindex="0">#screenwriting</a> <a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/hollywood/" tabindex="0">#hollywood</a> <a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/actorslife/" tabindex="0">#actorslife</a> <a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/nowplaying/" tabindex="0">#nowplaying</a> <a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/makeupartist/" tabindex="0">#makeupartist</a><a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/hillbillyelegy/" tabindex="0">#hillbillyelegy</a> <a class=" xil3i" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/makeupeffects/" tabindex="0">#makeupeffects</a></span></p><div><br /></div><div>We've been seeing some great reviews and I thought I'd share a couple blurbs and pics here with you all.</div><div><br /></div><div>Until next time, be well and stay away from those d*** rattlesnakes, ya hear?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>“Move aside, “Hillbilly Elegy”—the new HBO documentary “Alabama Snake” is the riveting (and terrifying) depiction of Appalachia that people need to see.”<br />-Nick Schager, The Daily Beast</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>"Alabama Snake takes the concept of dramatic re-enactments and applies a level of stylistic showmanship rarely seen in documentaries...Alabama Snake is shot like a horror movie, and edited and scored like one as well...Love’s stylization makes Alabama Snake stand out from the crowd."<br />-Katie Rife, AV Club</div><div><br /></div><div><br />#AlabamaSnake .... “It’s not a story you hear every day: religion, relationships, and murder.” @hbo</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiur2I4BlV4zdE7lRdZ6HDbBuYOnC9EeZDoOaOKOgD7AxSmPwDKKh_bWJcB6lVwbCSY6HAuya4kNTooNRWrT9tuCUXmqHcMyq0Sb652Ghuh1e1CHyM7f8nVBEc5-JgCkwiAE8hfUTslMRA/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiur2I4BlV4zdE7lRdZ6HDbBuYOnC9EeZDoOaOKOgD7AxSmPwDKKh_bWJcB6lVwbCSY6HAuya4kNTooNRWrT9tuCUXmqHcMyq0Sb652Ghuh1e1CHyM7f8nVBEc5-JgCkwiAE8hfUTslMRA/" width="180" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjElFERKjYn30xk7yiSap0lojh9eoxdGEBZnAQPEubM8xNLslo_RJgIaScYDkiYPEecx8Xq98Eg9ANonc9Drzo8y3Dfn1o09q3l4vr8vt2evUlVyArWU2mYlOuxZUFcpvvy1SFF2-Nxd6A/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1920" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjElFERKjYn30xk7yiSap0lojh9eoxdGEBZnAQPEubM8xNLslo_RJgIaScYDkiYPEecx8Xq98Eg9ANonc9Drzo8y3Dfn1o09q3l4vr8vt2evUlVyArWU2mYlOuxZUFcpvvy1SFF2-Nxd6A/" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /></div>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-35490784131417907062020-11-17T15:19:00.002-08:002020-11-17T15:19:37.913-08:00Metropolitan Room of NYC, The Guinness Book of World Records, and ME!<p> Hey guys! Saturday night I performed as part of the Metropolitan Zoom's</p><p> --- formerly known as the Metropolitan Room of NYC ---</p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql oi732d6d ik7dh3pa fgxwclzu a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl q66pz984 gpro0wi8 b1v8xokw" href="https://www.facebook.com/MetropolitanZoom/?__cft__[0]=AZVbuJV5a7KHozWCjZRURUe3Bzi9swA5x81PxKt5Q_y_rMDcFqzXQjx4VBWgxfn3G1kXfrZ04dyxs58AjY9-DhsuMJYSuPWMTtqfrez5SvBefBUwtBngwyecPys-JyhYfhV0MnhvNPGW2zTHfWAgZMGGnwi0HiMIgXv98iAFFeW0Kg&__tn__=kK-R" role="link" tabindex="0"><div class="nc684nl6"><br /></div></a>24 Hour Virtual Variety Show!</span><div><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql oi732d6d ik7dh3pa fgxwclzu a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><br /></span></div><div><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql oi732d6d ik7dh3pa fgxwclzu a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto">And why did we do this crazy 24 hour show?</span></div><div><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql oi732d6d ik7dh3pa fgxwclzu a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><br /></span></div><div><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql oi732d6d ik7dh3pa fgxwclzu a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto">Which, by the way, was the SECOND 24 hour show I've been a part of (only this time I didn't perform all 24 hours like I did last time) and also the SECOND TIME REGARDING THE REASON WHY:</span></div><div><br /></div><div>To achieve the GUINNESS WORLD RECORD for doing so!</div><div><br /></div><div>The first 24 hour show I ever did (on purpose anyway) was in 2017 with Taylor Mac here at the ACE in Los Angeles.</div><div><br /></div><div>But the first Guinness World Record I was part of/ associated with was Mark Mallman's longest continuously performed song, probably circa... 2013? And I rode along and sand a wee bit of opera for the end of it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyhow</div><div><br /></div><div>for this performance, I sang a funny song and a sad song. If you prefer sad songs, skip to halfway through. If you like 'em all, here ya go:</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/41gklPg8pso" width="481" youtube-src-id="41gklPg8pso"></iframe></div><br /><div><br /></div>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-64016893792970143142020-08-06T13:27:00.005-07:002020-08-06T14:03:59.402-07:00ANNOUNCEMENT: ALABAMA SNAKE, coming to HBO later this year... and I'm in it! A brief pause on writing about Henry to let you all know that....<div><br /></div><div><p>I am so excited that I can finally announce this!</p><p>Last summer I had a major role in the HBO film, ALABAMA SNAKE, coming soon! </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCQP0apRFKzSuYBP6-cv9ZJg5qHJ6oXljnEl81qnd5NdMElk1BkJZnkqmF-aeH7yB5CZAQYIOjhijV1oSvORInxrwYZl1n1WM3CjJNuiIalIZkPwQGXuRKcOzfh6-WISawoNu73PeJcR0/s1980/116343716_10158483291962460_449730623019328995_o.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1485" data-original-width="1980" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCQP0apRFKzSuYBP6-cv9ZJg5qHJ6oXljnEl81qnd5NdMElk1BkJZnkqmF-aeH7yB5CZAQYIOjhijV1oSvORInxrwYZl1n1WM3CjJNuiIalIZkPwQGXuRKcOzfh6-WISawoNu73PeJcR0/s640/116343716_10158483291962460_449730623019328995_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>Somehow, I'm not in this picture. Eek! But when you see the movie, you won't miss me!</p><p>Hint: I played a role that may or<span class="text_exposed_show"> may not have been the antagonist. Or was I a protagonist? As Hamlet said, "nothing is either good or bad, only thinking makes it so." But this story, in which I played a real person, will make you wonder: just who was the real snake in this story?</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEODb_FJyWa4xTqJbIiyZdkOJ6ykWE_kIdqUupvd05oZF1ice4tzXLjz3SdUm4ZHU8JrEfO3ZPQF6uLoQlNVFR9T9-pD8lKWUFon3n7CRSG2aXzxwCOopr9HlXNmNetNGwhpronCWt4b4/s2048/IMG_0159.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEODb_FJyWa4xTqJbIiyZdkOJ6ykWE_kIdqUupvd05oZF1ice4tzXLjz3SdUm4ZHU8JrEfO3ZPQF6uLoQlNVFR9T9-pD8lKWUFon3n7CRSG2aXzxwCOopr9HlXNmNetNGwhpronCWt4b4/s640/IMG_0159.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /></span><p></p><div class="text_exposed_show"><p>Coming to screens near you a little later this year.</p><p><a data-ft="{"tn":"-U"}" data-lynx-mode="async" data-lynx-uri="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadline.com%2F2020%2F08%2Fmark-jay-duplas-the-lady-and-the-dale-doc-series-hbo-1203004666%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR1Pdj70uYfkRQonLsq2rFzv994TDjhnwjWk4DquuF7cp8LikRdYBU8BT6w&h=AT0xaWAgva8OJ3txfBJlU9ZxtTlbETNGCqDqVGaeEgrlNoBpx31MWL5Rbfllqr_x9jVad4i7Uz0clHkcsmFyW5HQVDgvMBvpwb452QPxz_qLaGcV5x7-SDo-z3zHutmxNesWv3cYY2EvCwZEQaRwHOX5klU74J8cjrD9_pVewEHqayPY1LBjDSTH_Vo4sPG5XgdFt8ehWeyGbCDjebTfRbWx6oRIpZF_a6_n2r1l8ZIkpwCxVLYxIogJTgu37-OgizWtvblKvBFjDDVHfqb93zLnBJRj2W2SSAlz34VHl8tYLcfPdFK7K5ipDHCZkCfJrRam57xMia3QkxEUvSZqIFBhAkmqQXW6UJoW5l6JbqaXoo8WFtrnZFiGB_ORiYM37nvP9vghzAS0horztb6rKrS6hLredi77Tt8oR_KmC1SUdjNHkW38pAn9er3FLx-QtYnVwXcBiMwFFGDiDcihuQBiFZsczjpLUpMrfoPBAFiNVFtSO6hxS8ngQnYFBZGARcUbOoiBEw3zTroLoxkrchnPaSc24GcsBTOIqsdu1h-M18uoOIQMy3sYGJolnp2ipSsHPrA8GZpwBMwExE12_fywKjM7q3_HTPlrCSOBcDo-lxVH8_JqCLLuZJU" href="https://deadline.com/2020/08/mark-jay-duplas-the-lady-and-the-dale-doc-series-hbo-1203004666/?fbclid=IwAR1Pdj70uYfkRQonLsq2rFzv994TDjhnwjWk4DquuF7cp8LikRdYBU8BT6w" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://deadline.com/…/mark-jay-duplas-the-lady-and-the-da…/</a></p><p>ALABAMA SNAKE, directed by Theo Love and produced by Bryan Storkel, explores the story of Oct. 4, 1991, when a violent crime was reported in the town of Scottsboro, Alabama.</p><p>Glenn Summerford, a Pentecostal minister, was accused of attempting to murder his wife with a rattlesnake. The details of the investigation and the trial that followed has “haunted Southern Appalachia for decades.”</p><p>We filmed last year on location and I just loved Alabama. It was beautiful: at night, full of fireflies and magic. Everyone I talked with- and I talked with everyone, basically- was so very nice. I learned a lot about Pentecostal Christians, a world I hadn't known much about before, but could see parallels with some of the more ecstatic kundalini yoga groups I've stayed with in ashrams in India. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvWaegs4uOQh8kzrrS5gPsRP-opmnhf5ZXXkZxIVQ27kFPVlQTf6ycf4TiqRl6uBief8evOGWBEBWEnQcWFXqmDRHLPGwVSW_RLSHjHVxovJ3zTFqOZibbuDon7bXGZ4ZRPmwYdtJJOdw/s1389/20190703_131514.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1042" data-original-width="1389" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvWaegs4uOQh8kzrrS5gPsRP-opmnhf5ZXXkZxIVQ27kFPVlQTf6ycf4TiqRl6uBief8evOGWBEBWEnQcWFXqmDRHLPGwVSW_RLSHjHVxovJ3zTFqOZibbuDon7bXGZ4ZRPmwYdtJJOdw/s640/20190703_131514.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>I also spent some time at the Scottsboro Boys Museum, delving into something I studied in high school but which I was soberly reminded of in person. It's a shameful piece of our US history that should be preserved and understood... and it saddens me that we are only a few steps beyond that. Black Lives Matter!</p><p>But back to the film. It was a great set. My fellow cast & crew were beyond excellent. I'd love to shout out to everyone individually... but then I'd basically just have to give a list of cast and crew as if it were a ship manifest or something. Still, you’re going to LOVE the makeup on this, and I truly miss a few of my wardrobe pieces that I grew oddly fond of. PUFFED SLEEVES! </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZSzSiMFAIRuv9A0lBh5OdFXgnLq56hUdMAZeW9iwUOTBQtSsE7HQ37E9MDygmQyzcFvC1Vo5P55hOuP_3ZpLl8kQLNSUjSrjekzgWzdAugPqYGkocwfhi-92fmCt2uGZdfsN26TFim0A/s2048/IMG_20190701_194749.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZSzSiMFAIRuv9A0lBh5OdFXgnLq56hUdMAZeW9iwUOTBQtSsE7HQ37E9MDygmQyzcFvC1Vo5P55hOuP_3ZpLl8kQLNSUjSrjekzgWzdAugPqYGkocwfhi-92fmCt2uGZdfsN26TFim0A/s640/IMG_20190701_194749.jpg" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>Also, my inner adrenaline junkie got a HELLA lotta fixes. I can’t give away too many details yet, but let’s just say that not only did I do some stunts… and learned I can survive certain “enhanced interrogation tactics”… (OH, I LOVED IT, SO DON’T WORRY IF YOU’RE READING THIS, HBO.) But I also got to work with ANIMAL actors… You all know I love animals. Some of which are named in the title. Only after wrapping on my fellow serpentine talent did one of the snake handlers approach me to tell me I was “a very brave woman.” It was at that moment that I wondered to myself, “Am I brave? Or stupid?” Since I survived, I’ll pick brave!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyLygBR_xEmUA_VoO_FA8dYkbZ6k53Gq54TP35JOJ6eof2SqNVdPwVhmCPqjqVtuC5iNTdAcgPsXNx-jDpIXRhUJ_Lmm1w62N39_L2B6IP-uZ88ySh65tctvQxM7twkDGuf6nYaHLw0V0/s2048/IMG_20190625_222005.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyLygBR_xEmUA_VoO_FA8dYkbZ6k53Gq54TP35JOJ6eof2SqNVdPwVhmCPqjqVtuC5iNTdAcgPsXNx-jDpIXRhUJ_Lmm1w62N39_L2B6IP-uZ88ySh65tctvQxM7twkDGuf6nYaHLw0V0/s640/IMG_20190625_222005.jpg" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>Truly, I had 100% faith in the project! As you can tell, I’m very proud of this film and my part in it. I cannot wait for you all to see this beautiful, creepy, Southern Gothic exploration of religion and crime.</p><p>I'll share some more pics when I can. And certainly I'll share more details when the time is right.</p><p>XOXO</p><p>Erin</p></div></div>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-20445083940516103282020-01-30T15:24:00.001-08:002020-01-30T15:24:52.166-08:00interludeI suppose it happened about the time he made an off-color comment followed by a sly look<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That was when I noticed golden strands in his dark hair</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And although there was just this quick exhale, not more than two seconds of recognition,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The old phrase came to heart first and then to mind:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Uh oh."</div>
Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-64184360710945455962019-12-31T14:59:00.002-08:002020-01-01T00:32:22.927-08:002019, Year in Review; Decade in ReviewI'm writing this with 20 minutes to spare before my friend arrives and we are off to a series of New Year's Eve parties; glittering in my sparkling blue and diamond drop earrings to match my eyes, a mesh rock and roll sweater over a black and red hearted bustier, black jeans and black stiletto pumps... a faux fur in the back seat and ear muffs, because I'm apparently still 12 when it comes to both my tolerance for cold (nonexistent in Minnesota, even less so here in southern California) AND my choice in outerwear...<br />
<br />
<br />
So who cares about a year and a decade in review? But celebrating all our failures helps us grow and having compassion for ourselves can pivot us in new directions... and honoring our achievements helps us feel happy... <i>and </i>we <i>are </i>entering the NEW ROARING 20s and I have a costume change or two left in me!<br />
<br />
So! Shall we, briefly, then?<br />
<br />
<br />
2019: THE GOOD: Henry is still alive. Carlo and I won a bunch of contests with a script we wrote. We produced a middling short film with a great story and got it into a few festivals and licensed it to a real cable channel. I worked on a top secret film I can't talk about yet but got to see how good of work can be done when fully supported by cast and crew and production entities and network... i.e., I didn't have to wear a million hats myself and didn't have to do a million hours of my day job, thereby losing energy. My mom had a big birthday and we all got together to celebrate her in northern Minnesota and I remembered why I love the place I was born. I survived another year in Los Angeles without a sugar daddy unless you count my credit cards in which case I'm fucked. I got a lot more honest because I'm just too damn old to lie about much else. I lost my way as a singer but started working with my genius vocal teacher Gary again after a hiatus and my soul is all the better and happier for it. I lost ten pounds. I gained three back. I lost them again. I gained them back again. I stopped weighing myself. I got to see all the nephews and niece on *my* side of the family. My Italian improved marginally, by which I mean by about 3%, and that's mainly in that I lost any fear of sounding like an idiot because I've made peace with the fact that, well, you get the picture.<br />
<br />
2019: THE BAD: Henry has cancer. My food issues and body image issues suck and I hate diet culture. Social media in general. The passing of some family members. Some health issues among those I love. I'm basically a walking headache. I was paying off debt (see above) until Henry got sick, now I'm just dealing with the fact that my humanity is born to give to small dogs with underbites. Um.... I've been attending protests and marches on behalf of the environment since I was a child (remember Kids 4 Saving the Earth? Yup, member of my town's chapter) so my alarm is at the same level it has been at for decades, now, so I still do what I can without wringing my hands. My focus currently is on homeless people in Los Angeles more than anything, how to help people, and those who don't want the help, how to not let them rob me. Oh, I've been robbed by homeless people a couple of times. But I don't know if that's bad per se. It's just that I don't rob them, I really don't, I don't think I even do systemically, so I find it unfair, but I'll just manage my mind around that as my heart breaks daily.<br />
<br />
THE TENS: THE GOOD: A music video for a song called "Too Much." A music tour to SXSW. A visit to Prophecy Rock. My sister moved to Los Angeles. Two one woman shows, one of which was really good ("The One.") Manhattan School of Music. Laura's wedding. CARLO! CARLO! CARLO! I love Carlo. We moved in together, I took his last name. It's all confusing, but heck, we love each other more now than ever before so whaddya know. Spy v Spia. Time Zero, our first script together, won a bunch of awards, then Dark Horizons, our pilot together did the same. Got to work with one of the all time greatest. Found the acting teacher that not only got me, but got me to soar, James DiStefano. Another Virgo! (Not me, in case you were wondering, but so many of these important people in my life are Virgos, which is curious,) Learned to really sing and changed my approach to music with voice teacher Gary (Virgo.) Made a few dear new friends. Did a million readings on 12. Took hundreds of Bar Method and Pop Physique classes each and love them equally and both for different reasons. Changed my hair color. A lot. Black to brown to red to blond to platinum to red to blonde to blonder to brown to strawberry bronde. Saw Naples (and now I can die, thank you Goethe, but I won't, not just yet.) Niece and nephews! Italian nieces and nephew! Film festivals galore. Mexico, New York City, Rome, Minneapolis. Sang for a lot of film scores, weddings and parties and gigs. Played with gifted musicians. Avoided lawsuits. Wore some amazing dresses. Discovered Lincoln in the Bardo, Chico y Rita, METOO, Parasite, JoJo Rabbit, Better Caul Saul, Kimmy Schmidt, Downton Abbey, Casa de Papel, Upstart Crow, heard Madeleine Peyroux live, and am ending the year 7 chapters into a novel I'm obsessed with writing.<br />
<br />
THE TENS: THE BAD: All but one of my best friends living in Los Angeles moved away and quit the business (I did not, though!!!). People died. Also music died, for me. But I'm trying not to be curmudgeonly about it. We lost Leonard Cohen and Prince and Bowie and lots of other people too soon but some in the natural, normal cycles of life. I miss my childhood friends and early 20s friends desperately. Almost got caught up in a cult. Didn't get to see my family nearly enough. The obvious emotional turmoil over "division," but mainly I'm sad that racism, xenophobia, anti-religious sentiment, anti-poor sentiment, sexism, human and child trafficking and the priority of money over humanity and creativity still exists.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
TO SUM UP:<br />
<br />
I think I might be the woman I always dreamed of being...<br />
<br />
I don't mind getting older, but I wish the rest of the world also didn't mind...<br />
<br />
Funny bumping into you here, huh?<br />
<br />
Nothing a great dress and tube of lipstick can't fix... and if it is? Well, let's dance. Gotta run. My friend just got here~Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-20541236986187003862019-08-22T13:31:00.001-07:002022-03-31T10:35:36.951-07:00New York, August 16th, 2019<div style="text-align: center;">
part one</div>
<br />
she awakened early. hot. she had stumbled in the wee hours to the air conditioning control unit, banging against it with contempt for the cold. now the smells of the room rose up to meet her nostrils with a wrinkle. wasn't this supposed to be a luxury hotel? ah, yes. boutique. and it was still New York in August. you got to choose. too hot, too sweaty, too stinky. or. too cold, too dry for your sinuses, scratchy throat. she chose hot and sweaty. and stinky.<br />
<br />
she took her time, not normally, but today. she luxuriated. what day of the week was it, anyway? who cared.<br />
<br />
well, she did, but only out of habit.<br />
<br />
she was sick of social media, living life on line, living connected to a device, living without breath.<br />
<br />
so after the applying of the zit cream and the moisturizer and the foundation and the blush and the lip stain and the chapstick and the highlighter and the brow pencil and the cream eye shadow and the smudge and the mascara - thank god her blow out that she had paid fifty bucks for before coming to the city was holding out pretty well thanks to the Russian tae kwon do expert, a former olympian to boot, who had to schlep to the blow dry bar for a day job like the rest of the aspiring stunt performers and a-list actress hopefuls; if not hair then dog walking or tutoring or massage therapy or personal training or waiting in line for rich people at the DMV- after all that, she wandered down to the streets and walked, at first fast, then moderately, a natural swing in the hips arriving fluidly in response to the overtly masculine push toward success she was learning to release every day, nearly every hour, now.<br />
<br />
"what," she thought, "what if, what if I just let beauty happen?"<br />
<br />
the thought of not working for success at every waking moment tickled her.<br />
<br />
she walked all the way from nomad to Chelsea to meet a dear dear dear dear dear dear woman in her life, a friend, fellow creatrix and psychic and powerhouse, they could be sisters or, more likely, young aunt and adult niece? sisters from different misters, perhaps, with the age difference, you see. and over vegan lunch and gay ice cream a deep connection settled in as they spoke of dreams and manifestations until they arrived at a witchy bookstore, no, like literally, there was a sign reading "the witch is in" and they listened to a conversation about sending away unwanted spirits and appreciated the black cat on the counter since the next day was, in an unlikely but remarkable turn of events, <a href="https://nationaltoday.com/national-black-cat-appreciation-day/" target="_blank">black cat appreciation day</a>.<br />
<br />
and then there was graffi-tea and talk of obstacles and fears card readings shared <i>entre nous</i> despite the <a href="https://erinthepisces.blogspot.com/2019/08/walking-in-new-york-at-night.html?fbclid=IwAR1sWvvMqz-o7b25PiArSCzm_Js4E8SoLLGV_lHC6D3UlQqr7iG8vKWHt04" target="_blank">public space</a>, and days later, she would feel so tired and exhausted, having culled the truth of her disappointments and exhaustions from her heart and having laid them bare on the table for her friend to see-<br />
<br />
and when it was time to part it was a happy "see ya next time" with a kiss, and they each felt largely fulfilled, they were ready to return to their respective responsibilities and goals, for while you can take the girl out of the overachiever? you cannot? take? the overachiever? out of the girl, oh it makes sense if you are she, anyhow,<br />
<br />
until she is a woman<br />
<br />
which<br />
<br />
witch were we speaking of, now?<br />
<br />
so happy for those days of city talking and walking, those moments of utterly delicious wrenches thrown into the works of progress<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780345441188" target="_blank">Morgan le Fay</a> rules over <a href="https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-mists-of-avalon-by-marion-zimmer-bradley/247217/#isbn=0345350499&idiq=4972492" target="_blank">Ayn Rand </a>every day.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6xU8Pl65y03uPKvKEsm9TxPik79Uf7tQiYaxQoX1xq8BJgbvuaze-029Yo8XKzVbM6kwBE2KXpk9-mF-BADQP_Ro2mOdrR6p9eCKkU_5uKbiQuV9G4dwxprR5NdkB12W_3PHbs5DE5Y0/s1600/Resized_20190816_145451%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6xU8Pl65y03uPKvKEsm9TxPik79Uf7tQiYaxQoX1xq8BJgbvuaze-029Yo8XKzVbM6kwBE2KXpk9-mF-BADQP_Ro2mOdrR6p9eCKkU_5uKbiQuV9G4dwxprR5NdkB12W_3PHbs5DE5Y0/s320/Resized_20190816_145451%25281%2529.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yup! I'm human. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I ordered the barista's recommendation,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the<a href="https://biggayicecream.com/shop-treats" target="_blank"> salty pimp,</a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
which was tasty, but,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
in my heart I really love sprinkles and</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
wish I had honored my inner</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
fairy godmother<br />
and ordered something<br />
sprinkly<br />
instead.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>PART TWO:</b></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwjtinA9MSj9geAooApnIE1gg5D-KYWgixhz4mEmdIDD2VcP6Sc-s6UkCIE925KNR4JwSnpoWGirSvRJ5O25QOuQihvY9FdjMjevKvpCRYPyhbjEvIjtQIXojq9o9WA2pWuKRauMWXwA8/s320/IMG_20190818_164146.jpg" width="320" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://seawallalife.com/" target="_blank">SEA WALL / A LIFE</a></div>
<br />
If you have truly pursued acting in your life, you know how difficult it is to let yourself really feel everything and respond with covering and deflecting the way real people do in life while still inviting people to peek in on your vulnerability while still making it sound like you were just explaining this story to your brother at Thanksgiving.<br />
<br />
Or in the case of Tom Sturridge, who sounds like he's sharing in therapy or a 12 step group in his monologue-<br />
<br />
Or in the case of Jake Gylenhaal, who sounds like he's sharing at a college friends' camping trip during his monologue-<br />
<br />
Just real and even more so.<br />
<br />
Best thing I have seen on Broadway alongside "Porgy and Bess" with Audra McDonald and Norm Lewis.<br />
<br />
So for some kind of review or something...<br />
<br />
These are two separate plays, two one man shows that each take up about the time of an act. They are intimate, deeply personal shows, at least in the delivery and content (if not in the verity of "it happened to me" as an experience.) At times whimsical, at times fragile, at times deeply searching, I connected from my heart to what I was witnessing. I read in the show notes in the program that Tom and Jake, as actors, felt they were giving this to the audience as a gift. I will be honest and say that as an audience member, I did feel that I was giving my attention back as a gift as well? I am sure that sounds bitchy or arrogant or something, and I do not mean it that way. I just mean, it commanded my whole being, and I wanted so very much to offer them my energy as thanks.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>PART THREE:</b></div>
<br />
The night before, the screening again:<br />
wanted to post a few pics.<br />
<br />
The Q&A/ Talkback:<br />
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<br />
Great interviewer! (<a href="http://www.rickhamilton.nyc/" target="_blank">Rick Hamilton.</a>)<br />
<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-84453669962335494422019-08-20T16:25:00.001-07:002019-08-20T16:56:04.488-07:00Walking in New York at NightA pleasure of its own<br />
after a hot summer's day.<br />
The city has cooled off<br />
and the smell of August has blown east and<br />
away, making room for the<br />
fecund odor of the earth below the massive<br />
buildings. And the crazy throngs, too,<br />
are also gone, leaving only lovers strolling,<br />
men out of their suits and on their phones,<br />
catching your eye if they can and if they cannot<br />
it's a numbers game anyway and,<br />
look! A party, drinkers with their bottles in<br />
paper bags, passed around under the protective wall over the<br />
sidewalk where construction has<br />
begun eons ago and will never end.<br />
<br />
And you think about the play you just saw,<br />
and the intimacy of the actor talking about<br />
the birth of his daughter, character or himself,<br />
shadows sewn to his words,<br />
and you think about the man in the audience next to you<br />
who passed out from a heat stroke, or<br />
so he told you at intermission with an apology and never<br />
came back. You wonder if you should grab a hot pretzel<br />
from a blue and yellow stand, thick crystals of salt<br />
beading up over the top where the perspiration gathers.<br />
In the end you decide, yes, that would be a very good idea, indeed,<br />
and you pull it apart as you walk.<br />
<br />
So many people walk and eat in New York City,<br />
a place where you live in public.<br />
<br />
You think about the conversation you listened in on at lunch, for<br />
to say overheard would really be a<br />
lie; an older man with his two grown daughters,<br />
something you pieced together over cold zuchhini soup with<br />
relief, because you could not tell if he was courting<br />
these very young women with his<br />
familiarity or if they worked in his office as they discussed<br />
dating and relationships and then you heard<br />
the man introduce the women, women whom you hadn't<br />
turned around to look at, you didn't know what they<br />
looked like but you gathered instead from the fry in their<br />
voices and their cadence and the restaurant<br />
they were young and wealthy, and the man you could see,<br />
silver hair and a beautiful wristwatch, he introduced them to the<br />
handsome Italian waiter at the French cafe as<br />
his daughters.<br />
<br />
But the Italian waiter was married, and so the<br />
father continued to say a thing I hated to hear<br />
to our migrant worker, "my daughters think<br />
if only<br />
you were a little taller<br />
you would be<br />
extremely<br />
handsome."<br />
<br />
But what you wonder about now and<br />
wish he had spoken more on, the father that<br />
is, is 9/11, for he had shared with his daughters what<br />
he would have written in an autobiography if<br />
ever he had done so or got the chance to do so.<br />
"9/11 traumatized me for life."<br />
But his daughters rushed him back to a conversation about their<br />
meager dating lives.<br />
<br />
And now, passing by the Empire State Building<br />
at 11 o'clock in the evening, oh God, actually much<br />
later than that, lost in time, you think about<br />
that day, 9/11. You were far away yourself, watching<br />
the second plane fly into the building<br />
on the news as you brushed your teeth, although<br />
you do have a friend who was late to<br />
his job at the twin towers that day, but it that is not your story to tell.<br />
<br />
But we all felt<br />
something<br />
that day<br />
<br />
Whereas now,<br />
what do we feel?<br />
<br />
Do you feel?<br />
Do ya feel me?<br />
But really, do you?<br />
<br />
We must take these small joys not<br />
for granted in each moment,<br />
sleepy though we may stumble.<br />
<br />
We must take in one another and if we cannot<br />
because we are too shy we must take<br />
in this thing here in your hands,<br />
this<br />
object you hold this simple thing.<br />
<br />
Simple and important.<br />
The thick salt, acrid on your tongue, preparing<br />
your palate for the soft fleshy dough below it. The<br />
water dripping down from an air conditioner<br />
onto your head and the grace it was a machine<br />
and not a bird or a person. A tree growing<br />
in the cracks of a sidewalk. A confused girl<br />
carrying a pizza box in two hands<br />
like a serving tray. A boy who lives on the streets with<br />
his rottweiller, all four eyes big and brown, looking<br />
up hungrily as the pizza strolls by. The cool wind<br />
blowing your hair back and a doorman<br />
nodding at you with a wink.<br />
<br />
Your heart pumping in your chest,<br />
the pulse in your veins pushing against<br />
the skin of your arms, your breath<br />
heating up the roof of your mouth, cars honking<br />
and a woman moaning somewhere, a flash of a painting<br />
from a museum, a flower, inside, deep inside the flesh of<br />
the pastels of the petals, Georgia O'Keefe and a skull<br />
and a hearkening back to an ancient time<br />
so far back there were no cities and the violence was<br />
different then but there were no guns in schools and<br />
no planes flying into buildings or cars plowing down crowds of<br />
people in the streets, it was probably more visceral<br />
the violence before this kind of city of prosperity could<br />
render those without vulnerable enough to fight or suffer<br />
the consequences,<br />
<br />
oh, how happy to have this city, despite the<br />
fact a man just told you it was<br />
a hustle and a grind and yet<br />
<br />
just past midnight,<br />
you find it - not - serene - but<br />
something altogether holy.<br />
<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-69710640900363240182019-08-19T07:19:00.001-07:002019-08-19T07:19:36.556-07:00New York, August 15th, 2019.I hurtled through the sky in the middle of the night from the City of Angels to New York, arriving Thursday morning. My reason for going to NYC was a film festival: our short film, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xm8CbQRh4G0&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">"Near Death,</a>" was an official selection of the Chain NYC Film Festival, and I was coming as the sole representative of our work. By "our," I mean, me, Carlo, the director Matteo, and all our fellow cast and crew.<br />
<br />
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<br />
I had planned to sleep the entire flight but I sat next to a very talkative (and lovely) Hasidic lady with a beautiful baby on her lap. My eyelids were heavy, though, and at one point I just... dozed off. I awoke every hour-ish, wishing I had bought on of the pillows Jet Blue had been selling.<br />
<br />
And then, as travel changes our relationship to time, suddenly I was in New York. I hopped into my shuttle from the airport to the hotel, sitting in the back with my sunglasses on, as I do when I'm still tired, sand in my eyes. The driver looked at me before officially leaving the airport, crammed all the way in the very back, and he said, "You're staying at the Roger Williams, right?" I said, "yes," and he said, "why don't you sit up front." I looked around in surprise. Why had he asked me? Of course, my mind went right to, I'm a single lady. But there was some putrid smell in the back of that van, and so I said, "okay."<br />
<br />
Once upfront, the driver said, "I rescued you from a bad smell in the back." I said, "I noticed that! Thank you."<br />
<br />
The families in back chatted happily with one another. The driver was a man of undeterminable age, but I'd guess on either side of 40. His accent was not distinguishable, but it sounded like when a character in a movie practices Santeria. His short cropped hair was receding a little at the temples and his eyes were scrutinizing even though his smile presented a welcome. He listened to classical music on the radio and he kept looking at me curiously.<br />
<br />
After a few moments he inquired, "and what is your business?" To which I responded, "I'm an actor and a writer." He asked what I write and I told him about "Near Death," the short film that was in the film festival, the whole reason for my being in NYC at all. He said, "ah, you write science fiction?" And I answered, "sometimes." And then he asked what I thought about aliens. I knew instantly where this conversation was going.<br />
<br />
It was certainly not my first- and probably not my last- rodeo with alien conspiracy theorists. All of my experiences with alien conspiracy theorists, including friends, including one guy who told me all about his (self-reported) alien abduction.... I have noticed a few traits they all seem to share: 1) bright intelligence 2) a chip on their shoulder 3) a certainty of being right 4) creativity that seems to have been thwarted somewhere along the line and 5) at some point in the conversation, everyone of them seems to be looking for supportive co-conspirators, and upon learning that I neither believe nor disbelieve, they start trying to convince me.<br />
<br />
So, from a conversation about my short film about a priest who undergoes a near death experience and wakes up with a psychic ability to remote view tragedies as they happen... came a intense lecture about aliens; about how there is no God; about how demons are aliens, miracles are aliens, angels are aliens, etc.<br />
<br />
Eventually, getting no reaction from me, he searched again.<br />
<br />
"And why do you not paint your face and not paint your nails?" he asked.<br />
<br />
"Oh, I do paint my face," I said, "but I just got off a red eye flight."<br />
<br />
"Oh," he answered. He seemed almost disappointed I wasn't mad at his question. "And your nails?<br />
<br />
"Well, I'm an actress, so, if I keep my nails painted and I get a last minute audition or booking for a role where the woman wouldn't paint her nails... like the last role I played, she was a preacher's wife, she wouldn't have painted her nails... so I only do it if it's for a role."<br />
<br />
He seemed to like that answer.<br />
<br />
"So you do it if your work demands it of you," he said.<br />
<br />
"Yeah," I said.<br />
<br />
"I think also, it means you are secure with yourself. Women paint their nails because they are not secure in themselves."<br />
<br />
"Or for fun," I countered, offering another suggestion. "Like, it might be an expression of beauty. We've adorned ourselves since the dawn of time, lots of animals do, too."<br />
<br />
"No," he said. "Definitely it's about being secure with yourself."<br />
<br />
I shrugged, and inwardly I was chuckling to myself<br />
<br />
<i>Welcome back to New York City,</i> I thought.<br />
<br />
We spent the rest of the ride talking about his daughters, and whether or not parents should impose adult dreams on kids. I thought to myself how desperately I begged my parents to move to Los Angeles when I was little so I could be a child actor. I don't talk about it often. For some reason, it stings a little to think about, even. Actually for many reasons.<br />
<br />
A lot of people want things to be different than the way they are, maybe most of us, maybe all of us, at least some of the time. That's never a recipe for happiness. Of course, in 2019, we prize happiness as a spiritual trait, a sign of spiritual goodness and enlightenment. In Europe during medieval times, Christians prized sorrow and the gift of tears for the same reason. For me, I'm just looking to change my life. Again. :)<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
At my hotel there were no rooms open yet, so I stopped in at the tea shop next door, did a little work on my secret (not so secret, but still, yeah, secret) novel/ screenplay. I texted some NY friends to start setting up dates. And then I went to the Whitney Museum over by the Highline.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
The thing about art museums is, I love them, but especially when I have time to surrender to them. I like to find something that moves me and get lost in it, romance it, pull back, see how I feel. The Whitney has a lot to offer, especially during the Biennial, which was going on. But there were a few pieces that hurt my head- that's normal for me- I am very sensitive- and then there was a Georgia O'Keefe painting and a Laura Ortman video piece that swallowed me up.<br />
<br />
First, Georgia. I know there is so much to discover in that museum, tons of great painters who are maybe slightly less famous than the flowers and animal skulls of O'Keefe. But I love her. I just love her work. I don't know if it's because my mother loved her? Maybe. And maybe because I've had some intensely bizarre and meaningful experiences in Albuquerque and Santa Fe in New Mexico and the plateaus of Hopi land in Arizona. Her neighborhood. Her subject matter.<br />
<br />
And I've always loved flowers, too. I love to lean in, drink them in, inhale them and whisper back nurturing carbon dioxide, sing a little opera if I'm alone enough or with those who also understand.<br />
<br />
So I was drawn in to (posting, but not sure if that's legal for me, so, hopefully someone will let me know if I gotta take it down):<br />
<br />
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<em><br />Georgia O’Keeffe Flower Abstraction, 1924<br />Oil on canvas, 48 x 30 in. (121.9 x 76.2 cm) Whitney Museum of American Art, New York<br />50th Anniversary Gift of Sandra Payson 85.47<br />Copyright Georgia O’Keeffe Museum/Artist Rights Society (ARS), New York</em><br />
<em><br /></em>
<em><br /></em>
It's like we can dive in and swim around. An expansive femininity. An integrity within the delicate textures. I love it.<br />
<br />
And then, a<a href="https://soundcloud.com/laura-ortman" target="_blank"> Laura Ortman</a> video, <i>My Soul Remainer,</i> which I stood in front of for several viewings. In this video, she's playing Mendelssohn (on violin) in concert attire but in different locations in the Southwest (she is a White Mountain Apache, and her crew and fellow collaborators were also from various Native American Nations.) I just wanted to watch it for hours. I want to watch it now.<br />
<br />
Ortman's video has me entranced, and I don't know why. Yes, it's dynamic, and beautiful, and full of tension. But also, it just seems to express- for me- the beautiful anguish between our nature roots and the human couturing of beauty through music and hair and clothes and.... I can never say it in words, not like she presented in the video. Just go find it and watch it.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
<br />
That night we screened at the Chain NYC Film Festival in a block titled "Faith." It seems we, collectively we, I mean, have a fascination with the pain of the priesthood as there were several different explorations into their lives. Honestly I was surprised! I felt that we were unique in using a priest as a hero, because, well, you know. The church scandals that have been coming to light, again and again, as they should. We address this only a little in our short film, but we do address it a lot in the longer piece we've written (Carlo and I) (a TV pilot) because I feel it's a copout not to. And it's great character development and story telling and needs to be opened up and addressed both directly AND indirectly so that we can stop the abuse and heal the victims. But we were the only film that DID mention that part of the priesthood.<br />
<br />
There was a real standout- a Croation short called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqsoiMO3a7M&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">"In the Name of the Strawberry, the Chocolate and the Holy Spirit.</a>" (2018) 20min | Short, Comedy | 27 April 2018 (USA) One Sunday after the mass, in an overly Christian village, Petar, a priest devoted to his profession, wants just one thing: enjoy an ice cream. The film goes on to hilariously show his many struggles in this endeavor. I laughed out loud.<br />
<br />
When our film screened, it was fun to watch the audience. There was a moment with a collective GASP. That was gratifying. I also watched for where they were drawn in, where they were checking out, who, and why, etc. You can learn so much about storytelling watching audiences in theaters as much as you can learn about the film itself.<br />
<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-17171170044409940992019-02-24T11:05:00.000-08:002019-02-24T11:06:49.589-08:00when it is - a poemwhen it is your birthday but you spend the day<br />
making everyone feel comfortable celebrating you<br />
rejoice: you are about to relinquish your good girl status<br />
in a royal boil of a temper tantrum<br />
fists against a pillow<br />
secret tear stains down the mirror no one else will ever see<br />
but you and the cleaning lady you have called once a month<br />
so that you can have a moment alone<br />
<br />
when you are depressed and you have lost your will to try<br />
do not read self help books.<br />
those are for the mildly positive<br />
who have little sense of humor.<br />
<br />
listen to leonard cohen reading from<br />
the book of longing<br />
<br />
because he is dead now and you will not get to meet him in this life, after all,<br />
but you will laugh<br />
because he knows that it is difficult to make love to insects<br />
if you are a man, anyway, the kind who penetrates<br />
<br />
when you are a woman who has built so much of an empire on making it look good<br />
which is what it means to be a woman in 2017<br />
before 2018<br />
before 2019, which is when i am writing this,<br />
before everyone got tired and said<br />
wait, i'm angry,<br />
me too,<br />
and i am tired of having so little time for pleasure<br />
<br />
walk away now<br />
and read your favorite novel and get angry again<br />
and watch men explain art to you in movies about music<br />
and let them get annoyed because<br />
they are not leonard cohen<br />
<br />
when you get hate letters telling you that you are not beautiful enough to be taken seriously<br />
or you are too beautiful to be taken seriously<br />
<br />
laugh in their faces<br />
their words are all about them<br />
<br />
and they are probably feeling exactly the way you feel<br />
and they got tired of always helping<br />
and always trying to please<br />
and always being understanding<br />
and they are taking it out like a troll<br />
on some other idiot who endeavors greatly<br />
and they tread on your dreams<br />
and they do not go softly<br />
and they do not see you are a person<br />
and they do not write, yes, me, too<br />
<br />
but that is what they meant<br />
<br />
when it is sunday<br />
and you gave up on feeling bad about yourself<br />
and lying<br />
and putting all your cards out on the table<br />
and pretending<br />
but you're still a human so you're feeling bad and lying and showing your cards and pretending<br />
in all these ways you're not even aware of<br />
<br />
light all the candles in your house<br />
and turn on dance me to the ends of love<br />
or bye bye miss american pie<br />
or whatever makes you long for your true soul self<br />
if not your father's songs, then that which brings you a fullness<br />
of unfulfilled desire<br />
<br />
and dance for those who are gone<br />
for those who can dance no longer<br />
and if you cannot dance<br />
then sing<br />
and if you cannot sing then smile<br />
and if you cannot smile then go on with your own heart, then<br />
<br />
the crows are calling<br />
the clouds roll by<br />
<br />
and you are still here,<br />
when it is<br />
where it is<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-37336150139835071882019-01-28T09:49:00.001-08:002019-01-28T09:49:05.779-08:00"Here's to Life" as sung by Erin Carere<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="d2782" data-offset-key="5mf9b-0-0">
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<span data-offset-key="5mf9b-0-0">"Here's to Life" as sung by Erin in her office</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6v570-0-0">XOOXOX</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="31oj-0-0">I read a great essay about fame, poetry, age, mortality and my favorite poets Yeats and Walcott, by Gabrielle Bellot, a LitHub writer....</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="38llb-0-0">https://lithub.com/when-even-the-greatest-of-writers-grapples-with-self-doubt/</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="9ia5p-0-0">And I keep thinking about my own life, and dreams, and failures, mostly.... and every day it's like another episode of "Erin dreams, Erin surrenders, she mostly fails and sometimes soars."</span></div>
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<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2q7oc-0-0">
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<span data-offset-key="82vcs-0-0">And then I thought of an emotional, slightly incorrect, and totally improvised video I made for a friend and thought, what the hell. Share your life. What have you but yourself to give?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="d2782" data-offset-key="295b5-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="295b5-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="295b5-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
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<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1vhfm-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="1vhfm-0-0">And here we go. Here's to life.</span></div>
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<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="30m0-0-0">
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<span data-offset-key="6m92e-0-0">I love you.</span></div>
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<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="afjam-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="afjam-0-0">Erin</span></div>
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Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-23761107602022184702019-01-12T10:09:00.001-08:002019-01-12T18:01:16.565-08:00Listen to your bodyThere have been so many times I didn't listen to my body<br />
a dread in my heart,<br />
A deep desire not to go somewhere,<br />
a worry about the car on the highway that made no sense<br />
<br />
And always those feelings were proven true; awful, awe-ful.<br />
<br />
I have many stories of when I didn't listen and it went badly.<br />
<br />
I have two clear stories of when I did listen and it saved me.<br />
<br />
Today was one of those stories, small though it may seem.<br />
<br />
I awoke early enough for my workout, early enough to fit in a phone call, a dog walk and a brekkie before.<br />
<br />
I went to my preferred boutique gym. I will not say the name here for I do not wish to associate this beautiful studio full of trainers I adore with fear or crime.<br />
<br />
After a very intense class, I was struck by the sudden thought I should stop by the front desk and sign up for a class tomorrow with the receptionist.<br />
<br />
This is silly; it takes me two minutes online from the comfort of my desk.<br />
<br />
But stop I did. I even remarked on how silly it was to interrupt the receptionist's morning, but at least I got to chat with her. I like to flirt (friendly flirt!) with everyone I encounter. I feel it brightens the day, at least for me, whether or not the other responds.<br />
<br />
And then, the few minutes passed, and I was all set for tomorrow's class and as I turned to the door<br />
<br />
Sirens, helicopters, people fleeing into our gym from the back alley, police, guns drawn, clear and present danger,<br />
<br />
right where I would have walked<br />
<br />
in the line of fire<br />
<br />
if I had walked out the two minutes earlier<br />
<br />
to walk home.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
I whispered Bless You to everyone I walked past on the way home, people of every race and age and religion and gender. Babies on their daddy's shoulders. The kitchen workers from the restaurant who were fleeing the danger. The homeless guy on the bike. The police. The sky.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
In class, I had been listening to "Titanium" by Sia. This song always brings tears to my eyes; it makes me very emotional. I know that sounds silly. It's like getting weepy over, oh, I don't know... <a href="https://youtu.be/WMPM1q_Uyxc" target="_blank">Rhythm is a Dancer</a>. Or The Twist. But I get emotional because it triggers thoughts about my lost years as a struggling singer, about the story of Lauren diPino I just read thanks to ASCAP about how hard it is to <a href="https://longreads.com/2019/01/07/in-my-own-voice-redefining-success-and-failure/" target="_blank">"make it" as a musician,</a> about my many prominent acquaintances in the music biz, the kind of household names who could have given me a hand but didn't or felt they couldn't or what have you. Maybe it was me, maybe it was like diPino's article says.... great voice, wrong timing.<br />
<br />
I recently revisited my script for my old one woman show, "The One," which I wrote about my love life back in 2011 and performed across the country as a healing balm both for my broken romantic dreams (I know, I'm so dramatic) but also, I realized, rereading through both a screenplay version I wrote in 2013 and the original stageplay monologues, for my broken dreams.<br />
<br />
Now I am old enough to feel like I don't give a shit, I'm who I am, I'm talented, I'm creating, I'm an artist; I've survived as an artist who pursued her passions her whole life and will never not be an artist. I'm lucky. I didn't stay home and wonder. I truly live every day as if it were my last.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
In 2010 and 2011, my sister and I were roommates. We lived together in a spacious apartment right in the middle of Hollywood. She left for work early every day. I was writing my one woman show, my music career on hold and in confusion. (I'm still proud of this song though):<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
One morning, I had a hike planned with a friend, but I had to stop and put money in the bank before I met up with her. Normally I would walk for such a thing. The bank was a block and a half from my house, it was going to open in 11 minutes, and it was on the walkable way to the hike. But everything in me said DRIVE. DRIVE. DRIVE NOW. DRIVE.<br />
<br />
That was silly. I would drive, park, and get there early. So instead, I set out on foot.<br />
<br />
But something said, rush, run. So I ran. It was silly. I got there just as the manager was unlocking the door. It was early but he let me in. And just as I past the threshhold of the bank doors,<br />
<br />
An Audi crashed right into the front door<br />
<br />
Just where the manager and I had been<br />
<br />
It stopped two feet from us<br />
<br />
Bashing in the infrastructure of the doors<br />
<br />
Blocking the entire entrance<br />
and<br />
<br />
had I not hurried<br />
<br />
I would have been there right when that Audi was there.<br />
<br />
The manager and I stared at each other<br />
<br />
That feeling like when you come face to face with an animal in the wild<br />
<br />
that presence of life and death<br />
<br />
That here, now, are we in danger, we're paused, all time is now is everything<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
How many times do we escape death without ever even knowing it?<br />
<br />
How many times do we escape wide-eyed<br />
<br />
This is why I live every day as if it were my last. Because I have been saved: saved from my own hand. Saved from rolling my car at age 19 on an icy, hilly, twisty turny road in Minnesota the day before I turned 20. Saved from being broadsided by a cement mixing truck. Saved from a bad situation with a drug dealer at a party I wandered into. Saved from a motorcycle roll over. Saved from a collision face to face. Saved from a stalking ex. Saved from an Audi. Saved from muggers with guns at my head.<br />
<br />
Geez.<br />
<br />
That is all so dramatic. I haven't had drama like that since-<br />
<br />
it's not true though. Just two years ago there was that boy who committed suicide right outside my window in an act of murder-suicide and partner abuse. There is crime in a big city; you learn to be smart and aware. So there is drama everywhere, but these days, I keep it as far from my personal life as I can, and I bless these children of God who get caught in its path.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
<br />
So let me embrace you with a kiss, and send you blessings of love and art and beauty. Let me plead with you to call the ones you love and tell them so. Let me plead with you to make peace where you can, to dance in the rain, to read a novel, to discover a new songwriter, to write a play, to get out and play soccer with your friends.<br />
<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
<br />
Here are the beautiful things that also happened:<br />
<br />
My dog greeted me with a kiss<br />
<br />
My partner looks really cute in the morning with his hair all crazy<br />
<br />
I had time for a nutritious smoothie bowl and a great cup of Kimbo coffee before class<br />
<br />
My workout was fun and challenging<br />
<br />
I'm wearing new pants I got on a fluke- UPS delivered a box delivered to a friend full of "defective" clothing from a fancy workout wear company. It was delivered TO her, she didn't order it, but still here the clothes were. So we divvied up the clothes and I took what fit me and she took what fit her or her daughter. And my pants are so cute.<br />
<br />
I'm having lunch today with a lady who is 8.75 months pregnant. She could pop at anytime, really, even today! And if you've never given birth or witnessed the miracle, I suggest you do. It's legit the coolest thing I've ever seen or been a part of (helping my nephew be born), and I've done some cool stuff.<br />
<br />
If you are reading this, your heart is beating, or you are a ghost. Either way, that is a miracle. :)<br />
<br />
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<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-47933687313167072542018-12-02T10:43:00.000-08:002018-12-02T10:43:05.031-08:00poetry and fiction- recent works and works of yoreHey guys!<br />
<br />
I've been busy writing- a new novel has come into my ethers and so I've been spending time working on plot, researching, getting to know all the characters... how they think, where they live, who they love and why.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, please enjoy this poem:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Oh, life, how you flow into yourself, and into me, <br /> Astonished, a pearlized heart and a smile of stardust,<br /> And the places I have gone, and ballerinas in music b<span class="text_exposed_show">oxes,<br /> and the smell of the pine trees in the clearing,<br /> and the people I have smiled at, and the homeless ladies<br /> and the window dressings and the forgetting of sadness<br /> just in time to remember it again as a sort of faded name on a dance card<br /> from the days when such a thing pertained to a courtship...<br /> And the people who smiled at me, and who did not look past,<br /> and who did not keep going but who, in me, saw sister,<br /> daughter, friend... and the poems, pages and pages and pages of poems,<br /> and you, and a secret keyhole in your heart that only I can fill,<br /> and the delighted surprise at the realization that somehow<br /> I have unlocked my way into the memory of your future...</span>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-32632792025926154712018-05-24T09:00:00.000-07:002018-05-24T09:00:04.203-07:00Radical Acts... Waxing poetic....Because the radical act is to be happy. To follow your heart. To connect to people and love them even if they're wrong about stuff, and if they don't love you back when you're wrong about stuff, what do you care? Love them anyway. And then remember that true love doesn't enable and you don't have to put up with disrespect in the name of love, and love will sometimes be from far away...<br />
<br />
...But back to following your heart, and how hard that actually is, and the navigation of the rushing white waters of the river of your life, and how much energy you really have and thinking about your heart now AND then, not to future trip but simply to let go of everything and honor the self and that might include honoring the niggling doubt not because it's true but to allow yourself to investigate all those feelings and explore...<br />
<br />
...and being willing to stand out and apart sometimes...<br />
<br />
...and still connecting to people, the people who matter, and you might never get to know until you are five hundred and thirty seven years old, and what the hell is the point of any of it anyway?<br />
<br />
...and being willing to then, after sitting with all those feelings, not in the head per se, but in the heart, purely, and in the body, and in your blood, and in your toes, and as you cradle a child (or in my case, a pet), or touch the rough ridges of a tree, or pray before your deity, or bow your head because you are still a human creature and such creatures do experience fear and welcoming it as a friend you get to care for because she is dying of cancer rather than shun her and ignore her because she is dying of cancer seems the more loving response for everyone, and especially for yourself...<br />
<br />
...after all that...<br />
<br />
...when the time is right (and how will we know?)...<br />
<br />
Take the risk.<br />
<br />
All of this great humanity,<br />
<br />
this is the radical act that we are being called upon to take,<br />
<br />
not false, fake, presentational happy,<br />
<br />
the endeavoring, and the failing, and the endeavoring once again,<br />
<br />
allowing all of life and saying,<br />
<br />
maybe I don't fit,<br />
<br />
maybe sometimes I do,<br />
<br />
but this day is mine.<br />
<br />
I shall lead, I shall follow. I shall offer, I shall receive. I shall weep. Laugh. I shall dance badly, and I shall sing well. I shall listen, listen, listen to the silence within, listen, listen, listen to the words as you are speaking them. I shall listen to the music and the starry starry night. I shall come forward with my hands open, asking for more, for reasons, for help. And then those hands open shall be ready to work, to build, to pound nails and plant seeds. And the seasons and the beatitudes and the tides and the turning and this is the stuff of life and we are born and then we die and every day we die again and let this take your breath away so that you may join the heavenly choir. Temptations sing... oh, glory, jewel of the nile, childhood things, wonder, mystery, discovery, all making things like taxes tolerable, all things like the power bill and heartache tolerable, tolerable, tolerable.<br />
<br />
The options are yours, then. Will you allow life to be radical, or tolerable?<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-16739597895105972712018-05-03T07:50:00.001-07:002018-05-03T07:50:39.640-07:00On Happiness<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; orphans: auto; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">You think happiness is a gift, and then you learn it's a practice. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; orphans: auto; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">Then you think happiness is a practice, and you realize it is a radical act of defiance. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; orphans: auto; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">XO, Erin</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #14171a; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; orphans: auto; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">p.s. you can also replace the word "happiness" with "love." </span><br />
Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-50492257813365408202018-04-02T07:35:00.000-07:002018-04-02T07:35:03.973-07:00Baseball- a poemWhen the bat cracks on the ball-<br />
<br />
on the inside of that sound,<br />
if you stretched it out a thousand years,<br />
you would hear the yearning sigh of a mountain.<br />
<br />
My body is so rigid with desire,<br />
with hopes, and sunshine, and wet on fresh cut grass-<br />
<br />
The ball flies and the game runs its own pace,<br />
and the mountain dreams and the clouds move along to the next sky.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-27867496810198314552018-03-14T09:21:00.003-07:002019-07-22T09:38:01.987-07:00The Love Song of E. Elizabeth Prufrock<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">REPUBLISHED from 2010-2011 ish</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The Love Song of E. Elizabeth Prufrock</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">by Erin Elizabeth Muir</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Amidst my avocations, distraction and demons,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and music, strains from another room. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Today the metamorphose is incomplete, and I have awakened as J. Alfred.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I am falling, again and again I am falling, you see,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and willfully, and against my will, an ancient pain, </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">sweetly, sensually, unrootable: </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">vines from a mobius strip wrapping round my body, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">chains made of a flesh eating green, like a venus fly trap,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">a nature, a desire. I want it. I fear it. It is me. It is he. It is all of us at once.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and words and words and words</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and the poet sings</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">in dreams the message is perfect</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">but waking, she becomes ineffectual in her babel tower.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">beautiful, and desirous, and possibly quite mad.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">If ever I had known how to never</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">allow bitterness in my heart,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">then I am child-like now, and so imagine my</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">shock at my own self-dismay, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">as from all my shadows emerge, dusty, now dusting off the drapery, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the drudgery, engaging, on fire, a Demon.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">like the brightest star that fell from the heavens,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">plunging e’er deeper into the murky sludge, the far corners of paradise,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">rising up now, the mists of eternity clearing way for that </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">truth greater than all facts and figures, the inhuman form</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">which whispering, places a single icicle of fear in my heart.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Oh, love! To be Juliet. To have died within moments of the first sweet lock,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">to never know the other side of purity.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">But I am not asleep, and nor am I awake. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I am breathless, I am all the breathing of the sky,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">a billion stars shining in the heavens, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">a single pebble on the sand.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">No, I am no J. Alfred. Nor was meant to be.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And in the room, the girls giggle, talking of</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 216pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">nothing.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I am not walking on the beach, trousers rolled. I am not standing on the balcony, I am not sculpting David, I am not whimpering and I am not banging, I am singing- </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I am singing!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> (Each to each.) Which means- </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 180pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the mermaid- </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 180pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">is me.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">ah, drawing breath again, do I dare to be a human?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Emerging from this sea of crystal thoughts, wearing a crown of anemone and kelp?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Do you see? These waves are your dreams, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and these pink shells are recompense for your hopes that washed away </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">where once you wrote them along the beach,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and these glistening pearls within are made rarer, truer, more valuable in your eyes.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">If you say so, I will remove my fishy scales, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">lay down my cerulean triton, and emerge </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 144pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">a woman.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And if I say so, too, then the human voices waking us shall be our own.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">(</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and it will have been worth it, and we will never know what we meant.)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
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Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-46711482154071799882018-03-03T11:06:00.000-08:002019-07-22T09:38:51.285-07:00Parakeets in India<div id="yui_3_17_2_1_1520103401824_319" style="background-color: white; margin-bottom: 24px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<i style="color: #02010f; font-family: proxima-nova; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.36px; line-height: 25.2px;">This blog was originally posted on Apple news via </i><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.36px; line-height: 25.2px;"><span style="color: #02010f; font-family: proxima-nova;"><i>http://markhusson.com/12blog/2018/3/3/parakeets-in-india#.Wprv69QrLGg.</i></span></span></div>
<div id="yui_3_17_2_1_1520103401824_319" style="background-color: white; color: #02010f; font-family: proxima-nova; font-size: 18px; letter-spacing: 0.36px; line-height: 25.2px; margin-bottom: 24px; word-wrap: break-word;">
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It was my second trip to India, and I had started out very sick. The week before I had departed on this pilgrimage to Varanasi, to watch the burning of the dead bodies, and then go help build the school in Rishikesh, I had suffered away in a lover’s Cow Hollow apartment in San Francisco with strep throat. My fever had been so high I was hallucinating that he was an assassin sent by a FORMER boyfriend to kill me, but that’s a different story than what happened in Varanasi, and by the time I arrived at this gorgeous city dubbed “Venice of the East,” I was free of strep throat, probably, thanks to antibiotics, but still feverish and unable to eat, vomiting green bile. </div>
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I stayed at a hotel right on the Ganges River, listening every night to the boatmen sing, watching stray puppies chase after the children. Holy men in loin clothes strolled past the steps of our hotel, and only a few hundred yards away, the families of India burned their dead. </div>
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Sometimes, I hear my fellow western friends talk of India with horror at the poverty, the trash, the illness. They point out things like rape culture and the caste system. Controversially, I don’t see much difference between India and the US in those regards, but perhaps that’s because I live in a huge city overrun with its own problems of homelessness and violence. A lot of it depends on what you’re looking at, I suppose.</div>
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I was in Varanasi with a spiritual group that was working with a self-proclaimed guru. He’s pretty famous. I don’t know. He was angry on this trip. Because I was so sick, I missed most of the group outings and teachings. I was confined to my hotel, watching the river slumber by.</div>
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But every day, a little boy came to visit. His name was Ahmed, and he was a Muslim boy. I know because he came to sing the Qu’ran to me. Then he would offer to show me the finest shops. I would explain I was sick, and he would tilt his head left, then right, then left again, very quickly. </div>
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“I am sorry, madam,” he would say. “I will be back tomorrow.” </div>
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I loved that lilting cadence in his face. I would go back to my room and watch Bollywood movies, breathe heavily, drink flat Pepsi.</div>
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Finally, after a few days, I felt well enough to want to leave the Villa-turned-hotel and as I stepped out into the bright sun, Ahmed rushed up to meet me.</div>
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“Madam!” he cried. “Would you like to see an old fort?” </div>
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I looked into his big brown eyes and felt a small warm hand slipping into my own.</div>
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“Yes,” I said, against my better, urban, Western judgment. “Yes, I would.”</div>
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We hurried down along the river for a few minutes, maybe ten or so, until we reached an abandoned villa looming over the foamy water. We climbed up the hill and Ahmed passed easily through a hole in a fence that I could barely shimmy through. Then, he took my hand again and led me through what seemed like an empty palace: a large veranda over the front, looking over the river… a center square in a large property with crumbling pillars and mosaics along the walls and floors. Empty rooms, a place void of any humans, at least dwelling there.</div>
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“Madam,” said Ahmed. “Would you like to see some parakeets?”</div>
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I looked at the excitement on his face, like a kid at Disneyland or something. </div>
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“Yes!” I cried.</div>
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Ahmed nodded. He took my hand in his and we ran to the back of the house. There was a large, lonely willow tree reaching up over the high red walls. Ahmed put his fingers to his lips as we crept toward the willow. Then, he breathed in and raised his hands like a conductor about to instruct an orchestra. He brought his hands together in applause: clap, clap, clap, clap, and –</div>
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FLUTTER FLUTTER FLUTTER FLUTTER FLUTTER FLUTTER</div>
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Scores of little green birds bolted from the weeping willow tree, an exodus of rustling and flapping in every direction!</div>
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I laughed with sheer delight and felt a breath of life enter my body.</div>
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Then I looked at Ahmed and he looked at me. My heart burst open with a million little tingles of pleasure, and I wanted to cry. I fell in love at that moment with this sweet little boy. Not romantically. Just. Like. A mother. Like Mother India herself.</div>
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hmed,” I said, “how old are you?”</div>
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“Madam, I am eight years old.”<br />
“And how do you speak English so well?” I asked. He tilted his head left and right a few moments, considering the question. “From the tourists such as yourself,” he responded.</div>
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And then, I took the risk. “And do you have a mother?” I asked. </div>
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Now I wonder why I even could ask such a question, but I did. I already had the fantasy in my mind’s eye. I could adopt him. I could bring him back to America with me and we could live together as mother and son. I could give him all sorts of opportunities. He could visit my parents in Minnesota with me.</div>
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“Of course, Madam!” he chuckled.</div>
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My heart began to fall.</div>
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“Oh, and… um… where is she?” I asked.</div>
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He opened his hands, explaining the obvious.</div>
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“At home, Madam!” he responded.</div>
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“I see. And… would you ever… would you like to visit America?” I asked. A last-ditch effort.</div>
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A horrified look crossed his face.</div>
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“No, Madam,” he said. “Oh, no. My mother says I must never go to America. No, no. It is a wicked, violent place!” </div>
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I paused for a moment. It was, but it wasn’t. So was India. So was the world. So had the world been in so many ways since the dawn of… since the dawn of opposition, whenever that was. </div>
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I let my heart suffer these slings and arrows. I let my heart love him, knowing that I would never see him again. I marveled that I had fallen in love, not romantically, but as a mother. And then, I smiled and nodded.</div>
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“Shall we go back to the hotel?” I asked. The world was spinning. My fever was returning.</div>
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“Alright,” he said, taking my hand and leading me out of the abandoned building. “And if you like, I can show you some nice shops along the way.”</div>
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I didn’t want to go to the shops, but I heard my voice murmur, “sure.”</div>
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I didn’t look back at that fresh, clean, green place where no people lived, only birds and trees. We stepped out onto the dusty streets where bicycles zoomed past and poor women reached their hands out in need. I looked up into the firmament of sky, as open and blue as my heart.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmtIs3GfsmuU4lSzdZ2-b7DVIU_IG3AHPIj059qjwgkDAmBZH7evQ9TJyRTpc78RhdKjFZ98d75QXR5RGMfSl39k7IeTiblfMbYeWas0dJKqeq6687i4z1XNXYqkUWG7o8aIJs0mXjBo/s1600/22172_213351978991_8139121_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="399" data-original-width="600" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmtIs3GfsmuU4lSzdZ2-b7DVIU_IG3AHPIj059qjwgkDAmBZH7evQ9TJyRTpc78RhdKjFZ98d75QXR5RGMfSl39k7IeTiblfMbYeWas0dJKqeq6687i4z1XNXYqkUWG7o8aIJs0mXjBo/s320/22172_213351978991_8139121_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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photo by Rick Canter.</div>
Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-32141447388371669932017-12-22T08:08:00.002-08:002019-07-28T15:21:58.930-07:00FANTASIE FOR A MARATHON MAN<br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">FANTASIE FOR A MARATHON MAN</span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Here now we Stand </span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">as Autumn Takes the land</span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">And living is hurried now, oh</span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Hush, Hush, Hush.</span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Hush, Hush, Hush.</span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Posing for pictures now, </span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;">
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Leaves swirling, I am sound<b> </b> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Of longing and Hope, oh</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Hush, Hush, Hush.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Hush, Hush, Hush.</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Little One, oh why this sorrow<b>?</b> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">"<b>F</b>or biting Cold shall flow tomorrow!"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The snow is coming, snow is coming</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Hush, Hush, Hush.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Hush, Hush, Hush.</span></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Let me take your hand,</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">You’ve nothing left to do</span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Stars shall light the way to wonder </span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Carrying you through</span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">To a Marathon A Marathon</span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Of Melancholy Winter Too.</span></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"></span></b></div>
<br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"></span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;">
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I Shall Take Your Hand, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">and we shall sing by the fire<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></div>
</b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"></span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;">
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Poems and stories and thoughtful hours </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Happily In Your Arms through </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The Marathon, A Marathon</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The Marathon</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Of</span></div>
</b><br />
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">MUSIC!</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Sweet </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Music, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Inspire, </span></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;">
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Inspiring<b> </b>LOVE!</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Sweet</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><b> </b></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Love, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Returning, returning to</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Spring!</span></div>
</b><b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span></span></div>
</b><b id="docs-internal-guid-93cd69d9-7ef2-47db-d47d-bbd79540158a" style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Sing now for the marathon man</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Dropping notes as slow as we can</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Gather them</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">From the night sky</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Like stars</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Falling </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">to silent</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> ground.</span></div>
</b>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746817444591957432.post-48049013869063746912017-12-10T07:26:00.003-08:002019-08-02T14:31:59.497-07:00An Update with a PoemHello, my friends!<br />
<br />
I know it has been a bit since I've posted. as you can imagine, we have been extra busy with "Spy v Spia." And that's the thing about life: it's busy. Ten years ago, being busy was a virtue. Now it just feels like some antiquated, bizarro indulgence, and by indulgence, I don't mean of the fun decadent chocolate variety, but like some sickness and since I wanted my beloved "Spy v Spia" to be the OPPOSITE of that illness of our culture at this moment, I just let myself be as present and focused on THAT as possible!!<br />
<br />
And soon we will have updates for you. :)<br />
<br />
But for now, I did want to drop a note and just send a few other updates and a poem.<br />
<br />
What I am reading:<br />
-The Taming of The Shrew. I just finished Act 3, wherein Petruccio marries Kate in horrifying fashion.<br />
In light of the #MeToo movement and Weinstein, Franken, and the President....<br />
This play takes on a new and interesting relevance.<br />
I used to LOVE the banter betwixt Kate and Petruccio but HATE the moral values therein.<br />
I'm reading it now for research on the next project I want to write, and I'm constantly shocked to find myself laughing.<br />
And I guess this is why we still read ol' Will. It's still so f***ing relevant.<br />
<br />
-Lincoln in the Bardo<br />
Just started it.So far, only a few chapters in, I am blown away by its unconventional narrative style, its beauty, and honestly, I'm so happy to read a book that doesn't assume I'm an idiot reader. (Sorry, modern publishing.)<br />
<br />
<br />
What I am watching:<br />
-"Three Billboards Past Ebbing, Missouri"<br />
I mean, just, wow. Wow wow wow wow wow. If ever there was any wonder whether or not Frances McDormand is a national treasure, and I don't know how there could be, THIS ensures it. She is incredible. But not just her- this whole film. I've long loved Martin McDonagh, the filmmaker, but THIS is a real beauty in the ripening of his work. I am so inspired.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
What I am singing:<br />
-just sang an <a href="https://www.facebook.com/jeremyweinglass/videos/10159903784820195/" target="_blank">online concert</a> to raise money for victims of the Thomas fire here in SoCal. All proceeds go to the Ventura County United Way and there's still time to help! Every video share and we will donate an extra $1 to help the victims.<br />
-prepping for auditions. Up next? I'm superstitious, so I don't want to say unless I book something, haha!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A poem I wrote yesterday:<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>12.9.17</i><br />
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>Been a long time, then, since I have been myself</i></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>But as the moon, cut in half, smoking like the fires eating up the cliffs of the west</i></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>Reminds me that I have not been my self, it seems, too,</i></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>That the stars in population of the firmament of night</i></div>
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<i>And the bright white against dark indigo ignite</i></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>In my own body the sole of truth which is-</i></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>I have never not been. Myself.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>So, too, I wonder, cold air poisoning my ears,</i></div>
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<i>Airs to which I listen but do not hear,</i></div>
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<i>Who is this many selv’ed person, then?</i></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>Now a fool, then a sage, ever always a woman.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>I am divine she, divine three in one,</i></div>
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<i>Ancient, fecund, life everlasting.</i></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>The remembrances of all story pulsating through my hoary</i></div>
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<i>Bones, hearkened as a moan, orgasmic moment of glory</i></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>Of some long lost couple, some prehistoric child</i></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>Suckling the milky stores from my breast, until I’m wild</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>Again.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>Joy, sticks, goddess, marrow.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>The things of life am I.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="m_7447789811331435192gmail-MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<i>-Erin</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK1m1ObND__ou8POQPnYP7WPUg5jUkeTbwwSVnCsXzELFR76M-_QhKKw2xYETjKNooyMpU2LmNjWArBgdZ5DKenDWn5SPY6nppvOh4jroyQylgXd9MkRDqZVNWFZLWQrFMVd9qyWE9V6U/s1600/DD+Catalina+After+Party+Fave.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK1m1ObND__ou8POQPnYP7WPUg5jUkeTbwwSVnCsXzELFR76M-_QhKKw2xYETjKNooyMpU2LmNjWArBgdZ5DKenDWn5SPY6nppvOh4jroyQylgXd9MkRDqZVNWFZLWQrFMVd9qyWE9V6U/s320/DD+Catalina+After+Party+Fave.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
This pic was taken by Diana Delzio of Modern PR after Carlo and I won "Best Screenplay" at the Catalina Film Festival. If I get to it, it will be our Holiday Card photo! If I don't, then, this is it! Happy Holidays! eek.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Erin<br />
the poet, the muse, the comedienne-<br />
the singer, the writer, playing in her garden<br />
of stars and whimsy and stunts and action.<br />
<br />
<br />
"Who knew Linda Hamilton, Bette Midler, and Anne of Green Gables could be wrapped up in one package?"<br />
-a recent casting director, after talking to me for a few minutes<br />
<br />
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<i><br /></i></div>
Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07449505012681294451noreply@blogger.com