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Friday, December 22, 2017



Here now we Stand 
as Autumn Takes the  land
And living is  hurried now, oh
Hush, Hush, Hush.
Hush, Hush, Hush.

Posing for pictures now, 
Leaves swirling, I am sound  
Of longing and Hope, oh
Hush, Hush, Hush.
Hush, Hush, Hush.

Little One, oh why this sorrow?
"For biting Cold shall flow tomorrow!"
The snow is coming, snow is coming
Hush, Hush, Hush.
Hush, Hush, Hush.

Let me take your hand,  
You’ve nothing left to do
Stars shall light the way to wonder 
Carrying you through
To a  Marathon A Marathon
Of Melancholy Winter Too.

I Shall Take Your Hand,  
and we shall sing by the fire       

Poems and stories and thoughtful hours
Happily In Your Arms through
The Marathon, A Marathon
The Marathon Of

MUSIC! Sweet Music, Inspire, 
Inspiring LOVE!  
Sweet Love,  
 Returning, returning to

Sing now for the marathon man
Dropping notes as slow as we can
Gather them
From the night sky
Like stars
Falling to  silent ground.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

An Update with a Poem

Hello, my friends!

I know it has been a bit since I've posted. as you can imagine, we have been extra busy with "Spy v Spia." And that's the thing about life: it's busy. Ten years ago, being busy was a virtue. Now it just feels like some antiquated, bizarro indulgence, and by indulgence, I don't mean of the fun decadent chocolate variety, but like some sickness and since I wanted my beloved "Spy v Spia" to be the OPPOSITE of that illness of our culture at this moment, I just let myself be as present and focused on THAT as possible!!

And soon we will have updates for you. :)

But for now, I did want to drop a note and just send a few other updates and a poem.

What I am reading:
-The Taming of The Shrew. I just finished Act 3, wherein Petruccio marries Kate in horrifying fashion.
    In light of the #MeToo movement and Weinstein, Franken, and the President....
    This play takes on a new and interesting relevance.
    I used to LOVE the banter betwixt Kate and Petruccio but HATE the moral values therein.
    I'm reading it now for research on the next project I want to write, and I'm constantly shocked to find myself laughing.
    And I guess this is why we still read ol' Will. It's still so f***ing relevant.

-Lincoln in the Bardo
   Just started it.So far, only a few chapters in, I am blown away by its unconventional narrative style, its beauty, and honestly, I'm so happy to read a book that doesn't assume I'm an idiot reader. (Sorry, modern publishing.)

What I am watching:
 -"Three Billboards Past Ebbing, Missouri"
  I mean, just, wow. Wow wow wow wow wow. If ever there was any wonder whether or not Frances McDormand is a national treasure, and I don't know how there could be, THIS ensures it. She is incredible. But not just her- this whole film. I've long loved Martin McDonagh, the filmmaker, but THIS is a real beauty in the ripening of his work. I am so inspired.

What I am singing:
 -just sang an online concert to raise money for victims of the Thomas fire here in SoCal. All proceeds go to the Ventura County United Way and there's still time to help! Every video share and we will donate an extra $1 to help the victims.
 -prepping for auditions. Up next? I'm superstitious, so I don't want to say unless I book something, haha!

A poem I wrote yesterday:

Been a long time, then, since I have been myself
But as the moon, cut in half, smoking like the fires eating up the cliffs of the west
Reminds me that I have not been my self, it seems, too,
That the stars in population of the firmament of night
And the bright white against dark indigo ignite
In my own body the sole of truth which is-
I have never not been. Myself.

So, too, I wonder, cold air poisoning my ears,
Airs to which I listen but do not hear,
Who is this many selv’ed person, then?
Now a fool, then a sage, ever always a woman.

I am divine she, divine three in one,
Ancient, fecund, life everlasting.
The remembrances of all story pulsating through my hoary
Bones, hearkened as a moan, orgasmic moment of glory
Of some long lost couple, some prehistoric child
Suckling the milky stores from my breast, until I’m wild


Joy, sticks, goddess, marrow.

The things of life am I.


This pic was taken by Diana Delzio of Modern PR after Carlo and I won "Best Screenplay" at the Catalina Film Festival. If I get to it, it will be our Holiday Card photo! If I don't, then, this is it! Happy Holidays! eek.

the poet, the muse, the comedienne-
the singer, the writer, playing in her garden
of stars and whimsy and stunts and action.

"Who knew Linda Hamilton, Bette Midler, and Anne of Green Gables could be wrapped up in one package?"
-a recent casting director, after talking to me for a few minutes

Monday, September 25, 2017

SPY V SPIA KICKSTARTER! and other news!


As many of you know, Carlo, my partner in life AND writing AND acting, and I have written a very fun WEB SERIES for us to star in. We have had some amazing movement on this series! Check out some of the info:
Spy V Spia, a MADCAP Spy Parody...
…served up with an unexpectedly romantic twist!
LOGLINE: Two rival international spies join forces only to discover secrets about their past, their future, and their hearts...
Written by and starring YOURS TRULY and CARLO CARERE...

With a TOP SECRET THEME SONG composed and produced by MARK MALLMAN, sung by YOURS TRULY...
With DIRECTOR CHRISTOPHER N. ROWLEY, whose previous films include "Molly Moon" (starring Emily Watson, Dominic Monaghan, Joan Collins) and "Bonneville" (starring Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, Joan Allen, Tom Skeritt!)
Produced by GRETCHEN LANDAU (whom we met on the set of FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA'S "Distant Vision" last summer!)
Director of Photography: KARSTEN HOSE (If you've seen a BMW or Suzuki commercial in the last few years, he likely shot it!)
It's a series that promises to have a lot of fun! Zany characters, a lot of heart, action, super cool spy stuff, evil organizations, an aria of death, Cheesheads vs Vikings fans, traditional pizza vs ham and pineapple pizza, and tons of Ninja, Femme Fatales, spyboys and spygirls and maybe a little romance...
Or as Carlo would say, no Romans. He's Neapolitan. ;-p
We are going to be launching a Kickstarter in a few days from the CATALINA FILM FESTIVAL(more about that in a moment) and I wanted to invite you all to share, donate if you can, and let me know what YOU would like to see as perks and promotions. As you know, I like to hear from you all, learn and grow... So please, don't be a stranger! We're planning on raising enough to shoot the pilot first, but along the way we are also seeking Executive Producers and or Private Investors, so, if you're interested, or no of anyone, we're open to talking with people!
We can share more about out commitment to diversity casting, quality of filming, and marketing plans if you like.... but also know.... it's going to be a TON OF FUN!!!
Our Facebook page is up to around 10,000 likes. Have you become a Secret Agent, too? If not, check out any of our Social Media:
*Currently links to Facebook Page, but will link to our Kickstarter once we launch!


If you happen to be in Costa Mesa on October 1st, I will be performing that Sunday afternoon with my long time friend and collaborator, JEREMY WEINGLASS. We will be singing at a benefit designed to raise money for research into HUNTINGTON'S DISEASE... the theme of our show is BROADWAY! I'll be singing selections from everything from "West Side Story" to "Les Miserables" to "Chorus Line" to "Monty Python's Spamelot." We're going to have an amazing time. You can get tickets here.
Carlo and I have been busy!
We won 1st place in the ACTION/ THRILLER category in the StoryPros Awards and are featured in their Winners' Circle with our script "TIME ZERO."
Next week we will be attending the CATALINA FILM FESTIVAL as one of the top 20 finalists in their screenwriting competition with "Time Zero."
And the week after that, we'll be representing "Time Zero" in another contest at theOAXACA FILM FESTIVAL. We have been in contact with the people running the festival after the devastating earthquakes of the last few weeks. They are well and the festival is continuing- we are continuing to hold them in our thoughts and prayers.
If you're going to be in Catalina or Oaxaca, do let me know! I'd love to see you. :)
Until we launch our Kickstarter.... please email to say hi!
Burn after reading! 
Just kidding. 
and Carlo too! 
and Henry. :)


Friday, June 16, 2017

UPDATES on everything: action thriller scripts, romantic dramedy, spy parody, and singing!


Hi everyone! Just a quick update on some fun wins we have recently had....

It's on its way! We are finalizing the script in conjunction with director Christopher N. Rowley and producer Gretchen Landau.... with a goal of starting filming this Autumn!
What does that mean?
Well, the next step after finalizing the script for this will they/ won't they romantic comedy with a spy parody twist web series is to put together a more exact budget, fundraise (while applying for grants and contests) and attach some star actors to fun parts. :)
I'll keep you posted on the fun developments there!

This is the action-thriller screenplay Carlo and I have been writing... and rewriting... and....
We just won FIRST PLACE in the Story Pros Screenwriting Contest in the action/ adventure/ thriller category!
What does that mean?
Well... it gets us one step closer to the right screenwriting manager (as separate from my wonderful acting manger and agents) and/ or producer. It gets us publicity to help sell the script so that it can be made into a movie! It's sort of like "The Bourne Identity" meets "Dead Zone," so we need a pretty big studio to make it. Cross your fingers!
This little romantic dramedy written by yours truly has placed in its second contest- the ScriptFest Comedy Contest! I haven't talked about this one as much because, quite frankly, I have a number of projects going on and I know it can kind of become confusing. I think of it like I'm a mother to twelve children, but instead of actual children I have projects. They're all important to me, and I hope for all of them to have a life of their own that becomes a part of other people's lives as well, but only certain projects take my attention at any given moment. So, this script had previously placed in the WEScreenplay Diverse Voices contest and now is a quarter-finalist in the Script-Fest Comedy Contest.
What does this mean?
Maybe the script will get attention of the right director or star. It's an indie dramedy about a middle aged woman who "has it all" until she finds out she has advanced stage 3 cancer and embarks on a very wild fling wit a much younger, newly sober man. It's a lot of fun! ;-p
I give performances every afternoon in my apartment.
In the meantime, I have a few charity events I'm performing at this autumn, and am secretly writing and recording songs that will be featured as snippets and singles connected to my web series, "Spy V Spia," (see above.)
As you all know, I really NEED to perform. And I haven't had a gig outside of a wedding in a little while... but when I asked an acquaintance of mine, who is the head of A&R at a major label, what it would take to get seen, heard, signed, sealed and delivered? He said I'd need to sell out an arena, get some kind of notice someHOW. He was honest and it got me thinking.... how can I be my Bette Midler meets Annie Lennox meets Andrea Bocelli meets Barbra Streisand meets Adele self (haha) and get my music out there? That's part of my series. While it's not a musical or an opera at all, my character is a singer. So, in episodes now and then, she will have snippets of songs that I hope to record and release alongside the series, or perhaps, after the fact. I have a few secrets that I've been saving for the right time, and I can't wait to share them with you all.... watch this space!

Kind regards, 
love love love love love

Monday, May 29, 2017

Meaning, memories, and "A Splendid Torch."

Meaning, memories, and "A Splendid Torch."
Happy Memorial Day to those of you living in the States! And to all, everywhere on this little blue dot we call Earth/ home...

Memorial Day, of course, is not just a day to kick off summer by consuming a lot of burgers, be they veggie, turkey, or beef. (Although Carlo and I _did_ go to FatBurger on Saturday night.)

It's "a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered..."

Growing up in Minnesota, my Grandmother grew gorgeous gladiolas. (As pictured above.) She was an amazing gardener with all kinds of flowers but what I most remember her talking about were her African Violets and her "Glads." Every year on Memorial Day, she would delicately cut at the base of the Gladiola stalks and create stunning bouquets. Then, we would drive from her farm in rural Jackson to the town cemetery. We spent the most time at the grave of my Grandfather, as well as other distant-to-me-but-probably-not-to-her relations. I still cannot quite put it into words, but a certain feeling would come over me then, and still does now, just thinking about it... a deep sense of connection to the past, and a profound honoring of the lineage from whence I came.

In some places, gladiolas are called "Sword lilies." In Rome, gladioli were associated with gladiators. Some say that gladiators wore gladiolus corms around their necks during battles to help them win and protect them from death. Because of their association with gladiators, the gladiolus flower meaning is strength and integrity. They also symbolize infatuation. By giving a gladiolus to someone, the giver sends the message “you pierce my heart” to the receiver, because of the flower’s pointed shape. Another gladiolus meaning is remembrance.

Sometimes, it's good to remember. Not to dwell, not to dramatize, but to feel that connection to that which came before us, to the circles and cycles of possibility and love and honor and creation that has delivered us onto the world today.

So, this Memorial Day... It no longer feels exactly right to say "Happy Memorial Day" after all this.... so I will instead share my favorite quote:

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

George Bernard Shaw

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

In Three, a semi-finalist in the WeScreenplay Diverse Voices Contest

So, a while back, I had an idea for a movie about a grown up woman going through a crisis who meets a young man going through a crisis... I wrote a scene for an acting class, and then, in a fit of inspiration, wrote the whole d*** script. I put it away for a little while, and then, after learning more about structure with my stalwart #screenwriting and #life partner Carlo Carere, I reworked this script about two beautiful, hurt, funny souls going through some sh**. This is a script that I feel is true to my poetic (and weird... uh, let's say "unique") (and sexy, it's definitely a movie for grownups!) sensibilities. But I worked on structuring it in a way to take all that artsy fartsy stuff and make it commercial.

I'm kinda proud. My script is a finalist in the WeScreenplay Diverse Voices contest. :)

"In Three" written by Erin Carere

When a middle-aged business woman who seemingly "has it all" discovers she has stage three ovarian cancer, she throws caution to the wind and embarks on a sexy, life-changing weekend with a newly sober, much younger man.

Also, Diverse Voices and WeScreenplay raised $2,712 for the Books for Kids Foundation!

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Anne With An E, and what Anne, Emily, and Maud mean to me

It's a beautiful Tuesday morning here in the City of Angels, and I'm feeling oh so very Emily-Anne, i.e., the hybrid that many of us die-hard writer type fans of Lucy Maud Montgomery and her indomitable heroines identify with. (For myself, I'd add a dash of Sara Stanley to my list as well. After all, I'm most like Anne in action and experience, most like Emily in my soul and writing, but I always feel The Story Girl is left out a little in the canon and that I am at once the creator AND performer of stories much like Miss Sara.) I spent the morning walking my dog, Henry, along an avenue full of jacaranda trees, the purple blossoms falling to our feet... in fact, I also had to navigate my dog AWAY from the leftover chicken wings and broken beer bottles that people dropped on the street likely in a drunken state... I live in a very urban area. Safe, but full of popular nightclubs, restaurants and bars. And the entire morning, while musing on the new Netflix take on the Anne series, Anne With An E, I practiced Anne Shirley's ability to focus on beauty and magic, even if sometimes she, and I, and indeed all of us, have to create it for ourselves.

Here's the thing. I tried really hard to like Anne With An E. I did. I ADORE that lead actress, AmyBeth McNulty. She is a treasure. She is an EXCELLENT Anne, even if Megan Follows was my first Anne, even before I read the books. I gave the series 5 episodes. 5! Of 7! And then I just had to stop. I just couldn't take it anymore. Perhaps if I hadn't already been an uber fan for, oh, almost my entire life... if I hadn't watched and rewatched the Sullivan/ Megan Follows series and devoured every book Lucy Maud Montgomery ever wrote, even her journals, and then wept when I had read the very last little bit that was possible to read... perhaps if I hadn't joined Anne Societies and made 100s of pen friends across the globe, some of whom I STILL write to.... perhaps if I didn't return to Anne of Green Gables every time I need comfort in my life, in every time of trauma and stress... perhaps if I hadn't talked my mother into taking me and my sister on one of the best trips of our entires lives, STILL, to Prince Edward Island when we were teenagers... 

This picture of the coastline at Prince Edward Island gives a lot of "scope for the imagination!"

I can go on and on about my incredible lifelong relationship to this 100+ year old heroine, Anne... to her creator, and to the other books and heroines of Lucy Maud Montgomery, the author who helped shape my life and whose work saved me from very dark times. Rehabs for eating disorders, depression and suicide in high school and college.... escape from bad relationships... renewal of spirit and dreams.... overcoming grief and the tragedy of premature death of my beloveds... ANNE is who I turned to. ANNE.

And why?

The beauty of Anne is that, while her troubles in life in Avonlea seem almost trivial when read on the surface (red hair and freckles seem like something that, today, a lot of us would kill to have! Thank god for Clairol!) they are actually the RELIEF from what certainly hid beneath all the surface of the actual horrors of life, to which Anne was not immune, much of which she most certainly would have gone through and which were hinted at delicately in the books. It's like this: when you're in 8th grade, going through a death at home, but tomorrow morning you have to take a math test in school. The test isn't fun or easy, most likely, but at least it's not Grandma's funeral. And you can transfer so many of those feelings that are so immense and difficult into the lesser stakes problems. Things like the test. Things like the crush you have on someone. And indeed, those problems can then have the opportunity to flow into the imagination and the magic of the world. That's what a lot of us do. It's not a bad way to cope, at least for a while. And while humanity has its darknesses, and the author, Lucy Maud Montgomery, certainly had more than her fair share of such (depression, a depressed and perhaps mentally ill husband who believed he was predestined to go to hell even though he was a minister, suicides and family shame, unrequited love with a social lesser), she found ways to choose happiness, to choose dreams, to never give up. It was so unlikely she would even WRITE Anne of Green Gables, let alone never give up and go on to create a character who is as popular today as she ever was. 

THAT inspires me. That inspires a lot of us Anne/ Emily/ Sara/ Maud fans.


Back to the new Netflix Series. I really wanted to like it. I loved the actors- moreso their hearts and intentions- and SOME of the realism I did enjoy. I don't mind new takes on old favorites. I loved watching Marilla be unable to express her feeilngs until pushed to the absolute limit. That's pretty real. That's a lot of people I know. But...

Too much, Netflix. Too dark. Too dark with not enough light. People going through incredible traumas don't need to see more trauma, and most of us turn to Anne because we need something that lightens our load without being too shallow. We need inspiration and hope, and Anne has enough of that for FIVE villages of Avonlea. Maybe for the whole world. 

You know, we don't love the film La Vita E Bella, known in English as Life Is Beautiful, because of the atrocities of humanity. We love it precisely because it gives us hope that as humans, we aren't all going to succumb to some evil, that while war can make murderers of us all, it is possible to choose something greater than the base and low instincts of survival... that sometimes, beauty and whimsy and magic are PRECISELY the road to survival.

I really look forward to seeing all of these actors again, especially AmyBeth McNulty. And the writing is excellent. Of course it is. The showrunner is beyond brilliant... but... well.... It's just not Anne.

This morning, before writing this blog, I went and google image searched the 1985 Anne, Megan Follows. When I landed upon the "blog" on the Sullivan Productions website (the people who produced the 1980s series), I began to weep. I just cried and cried and I'm crying still. I cried looking at images of Megan Follows (now on Reign,) and Jonathan Crombie (RIP.) (He was one of my first crushes, as Gilbert, and in fact, Gilbert remains the ideal for me. Thank God I have the Italian Gilbert. ;-p) But I wept almost uncontrollably for, really, not many reasons... what am I so emotional just looking at these pictures? 

Am I crying for all our innocence?

Am I crying for lost dreams? Lost opportunities, mistakes and regrets of my own, marked in time by a return to Anne and her kin?
A little.

I'm definitely crying for all the hurt and lost and orphaned children near and abroad who might never find a home of decent folks to move into, for those whose lives will be cut short by violence, or grow long into pain and suffering because life wants only to continue to live.

And I'm crying for a distant memory of hope, and for a future full of it.Or, so, I pray. I truly do pray.

You see, Anne isn't about just Anne. That's why so many fans are so disturbed by the new series. It's not about antiheroes and breaking bad and ONLY the meanness of small town folks or complex class systems with unspoken rules. It's about kindness, community, flowers, magic, fairy tales that do come true, even if different than what the mind of the child invented.

And we are all children.

Me, with my Kindred Spirits button, which you can't see because my camera is... not so good. But you get the gist. ;-p