From Boy Bands to Love
Dogs
Hello, everyone!
So, the last few days I
was a little MIA. I still cannot reveal complete details, but, basically, I was
hired as an actress on a music video for a very famous boy band… perhaps the
most famous boy band of the moment, and maybe ever.
This is not really a fair
thing to say or assess, because more people have more ways to access technology
than back in the Beatles’ day, and, there are more people running around this
little blue planet in general! Still, they are MIGHTY popular and really cute.
Those of you among my
friends know I’m way more into dark and crafty songwriters in general, but I
like a good top 40 venture now and again!
I was hired without being
told who the band was. I wasn’t given the location or any details until the
night before, and although I actually did have a hunch, I wasn’t sure until I
got there and saw the handsome lads in the flesh… Then I knew I was, in fact,
working on a video being shot out in the middle of nowhere in Agua Dulce for
THE boy band of the moment.
When I arrived, the
production crew had me sign a Non Disclosure Agreement and even taped my phone
with a special seal as I promised not to take any pictures, nor disclose the
name of the band, nor tweet nor instagram… nor… NADA! NOTHING! ZIP! ZILCH!
ZERO!
Until… Um, well I don’t
have a copy of the NDA so I don’t really know when! But I assume once the video
comes out I can tell you who it is. Aw, who’m I kidding! I’m giving plenty of
innuendo as it is!
Still... No pictures with
me and the darling Harry Styles, I’m sad to say!
Why the secrecy? I really
didn’t understand at first except that I know so many television shows, films
and videos really need to bank on the SURPRISE of the audience. Not only that, but they want to TEASE
the audience. Hello, burlesque! It’s all about the TEASE far more than the
strip! I mean, I know a lot of current pop stars are living in a time and place
where the value has been placed on the strip way more than the tease, but
really? We gotta tease and entice somehow!
There was another reason,
I realized, as the shoot went from day one to day two.
On set there were not only
LA Country Sheriffs but also a whole security team monitoring the premises. I
talked a lot with everyone on set, and a lot of the security people had special
training with the FBI for all kinds of things! (One fellow was telling me all
about his “hostage negotiations” training.)
I thought to myself, Geez…
are these guys really under that much threat from anti-boy band types? Then I realized… Oh! Actually they are really
just making sure the shoot can actually happen!
See, on day two, despite
this incredible ban on social media and swearing an oath of secrecy, SOMEHOW,
some information was leaked and a bevy of teen and preteen girls showed up at
the entrance to the desert park where we were shooting. They waited ALL DAY for
a chance to meet these boys!
If the production staff
hadn’t taken those precautions, the shoot may not have happened at all! The set
would have been swarming with fans.
I have never been the kind
of fan that gets so rabid I would wait around all day for the chance to see a
glimpse of a band I liked. I don’t even like waiting in line at the grocery
store! But I do understand that to those girls, and they were all girls in this
instance, these boys represent something about love, and something about
glamour, and something about…
Well, I think, something
about what Rumi wrote when he wrote in LOVE DOGS that the LONGING IN YOUR HEART
(I’m paraphrasing here) is the ANSWER ITSELF…
Say what? Little girls
AREN’T wasting their time tearing up at the thought of meeting a beloved boy
band member?
No. This is a sacred and
divine act, in my book!
Rumi wrote:
"This
longing
you express
is the return message."
The grief
you cry out from
draws you
toward union.
Your pure
sadness
that wants
help
is the
secret cup.
Listen to
the moan of a dog for its master.
That whining
is the connection.
There are
love dogs
no one knows
the names of.
Give your
life
to be one of
them.”
…
In the context of modern society, we have to be so careful
not to use this unrequited love against ourselves. Many of you know that I
spent YEARS in love with love- really- in love with UNREQUITED love. Did it
lead to healthy relationships? Oh, hell no! But what DID it lead to, when
opened up in the right context of surrender to a higher power? It led to that
higher power. And that led me to my heart.
I am therefore grateful to all those relationships that
journeyed so foul, for they broke my heart OPEN, until I really did hand
everything over to the divine and found my source of health in that surrender.
I got to practice my own longing on the video shoot as well!
See, I was originally hired to play a VERY FEATURED PART in
the video, but when I arrived on set, I learned that in fact they wanted me to
play a different part that was going to be hardly featured at all. I was so
disappointed! I wanted my face being seen in that video with 500 bazillion hits
on youtube, damnit!
I really thought long and hard about what to do. If I had
known, when being offered the LESSER part that I was actually granted once I
arrived on set, that I would be “less featured,” I probably would have said no
to the video. But I had said YES, and I keep my commitments. Actors and
entertainers are workhorses, really, at the end of the day. Move us here, put
us there, we do this, we do that, and then we go rest and eat some hay. Or
something.
I don’t like to complain.
And yet, I also want to have boundaries and advance my
career.
I was wondering what to do when the main figurehead of the
band walked up and introduced himself to me. He shook my hand and said, “thanks
so much for helping out! It’s so nice to meet you. Are you okay? Do you need
anything?” I smiled and chatted with him for a moment and watched as he
continued to shake absolutely every single person’s hand. He hung out with the
cast and crew, he brought everyone waters, he was incredibly kind and
incredibly generous and all the lads in the band were so thoughtful and
grateful to have us there. I thought to myself, this guy, he has incredible
humility, and I am blown away. He didn’t
have to go out of his way to be so gracious, and it wasn’t an act. He was just…
cool. So then I thought to myself, come on, girl. Get over your bad
self. Just have fun.
And guess what? I had a blast. I met such wonderful people.
I talked with everyone and stopped thinking about myself and my little temper
stewing in the land of ego. I danced atop desert rocks, I sang along with the
chorus, I smiled at everyone I encountered. And it was fun!
So, the next time you watch a famous boy band’s video on
youtube, look for the nutty blonde in the Zebra patterned outfit… if she has a
big grin on her face, that’s me, finding God, dancing into the surrender.
