July 9th, 2013
Hey people!
So here I am, on a trip to the majestic mountains of
Gunnison, Colorado, rewriting the screenplay version of “The One,” my one-woman
show I toured a few years ago, based on the actual events of my love life.
Based on.
I am currently rewriting a part of the project that is based
on my high school years and even though the project is taking on a life of its
own, I am reaching into the annals of both the internet and my own memory to
look for what is accurate and true, and what is imagined and playful, and where
the two meet and create art. Well, we can all guess that the internet and my
mind are equally reliable. Er. Unreliable. Okay. Sometimes both are just
outright liars.
With some distance, I can look back both painfully and poignantly
at those parts of my life. Maybe it’s the epic scenery all around me, or my own
romance and drama, but somehow I feel so impassioned to make things right for
that 17-year-old version of me who was so full of creativity… A 17-year-old
about to make a series of really stupid and sometimes tragic mistakes. I want
to go back and shake that girl, grab her by the shoulders and look her in the
eyes and say:
“Don’t believe anyone who tells you you can’t do what you
love. Don’t follow the advice of anyone who tells you to be realistic or
practical. Don’t shut down because other people fear for your future.”
If I ever give a speech at a graduation, and I’m sure I
won’t because I’m too much of an upstart, that’s what I would say.
And I would tell them that from experience. I tried to do
what everyone thought was “right” and what was “safe.” I did the right thing
and messed up my whole life. It wasn’t until I finally started following my
dreams that everything started to work out.
II understand that people were mostly worried about me not
paying rent, being broke, getting taken advantage, etc. Well, all of that
happens whether you do the right thing or not. I’ve always paid my rent and
I’ve often been broke, but it’s kind of amazing what happens when a person is
passionately pursuing her dreams and believes in them and herself: she either
makes money doing what she loves, or has other support systems in place such as
a day job which she is HAPPY to go to because it is servicing her true dreams.
Why don’t we teach passion?
Why don’t we teach faith in self and the ability to listen
to that small, sweet voice which directs us toward our true destiny?
And sometimes that voice is loud!!
Because it doesn’t really matter if we “make it or not,” in
the end. What matters is that we were true to ourselves, to our own heart, with
integrity.
So now, looking back at that part of my life, I am going to
look myself in the mirror, and see that 17 year old. I am going to look her
right in the eyes and say, “You have an awesome life ahead of you. I promise.
Just go for it.” And, I am then going to say to my self now: “And that goes for
you, too.”
