Tuesday, August 22, 2017

That eclipse was something else, huh?

And the world is turning and the crazy energy "of our times" and the incorrect beliefs in the world being worse than ever but any student of history or of mystical texts can tell you that people are people are trees are frogs are the firmament of the blue sky are the living waters of life through your heart through the passion through the desire through discipline carrying you through the times when you have no passion and you have no desire and you give up on the overwhelm and just float down the river and you sense the oncoming waterfall and you stop bracing for impact and in stead when you think you are about to die you open your arms wide and smile at God and say "hello"

And suddenly

life is so beautiful once again

it's sort of fun
and sort of scary
and super sad
and a little angry
and really hopeful
and kind of exciting

how beautiful the world can be

how beautiful the world is when we
open our eyes up and surrender unto its beauty

no ideas
just breathing
tears are falling and the heart is heavy and yet in the belly of the best there is a roar of laughter

things I remember
dandelion seeds blowing through my fingers
the deep drink of roses in the garden
and lines floating around in the ethers of my hearing
"feed me, Seymour"

 
    "from the dawn it seem'd there came, but faint 
As from beyond the limit of the world, 
Like the last echo born of a great cry, 
Sounds, as if some fair city were one voice 
Around a king returning from his wars."
 
 
Wars. Wars and wars. Contour and highlight and shop and consume
and 
but you don't understand
 
I love you, I love you all, so much
I wish I could sing for your hearts and that upon listening
naught but the beaming light of your face would shine forth
a billion stars in the universe
that's you- that's us-
you are borne of stardust,
I know, I saw it in a vision
 
and a blog becomes a poem and still the heart breaks open, grows larger and fills, 
until, so full of its own self the cup runneth over, it  bursts forth and laughs once again. 

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Introducing your new life coach! Results guaranteed! And her name is.....

You've met her before in her roles as 

BITCH

and sometimes as 

BEACH! 

And now, she's your NEW LIFE COACH:

LIFE!

Yes, that's right. Let LIFE be your new coach. She will guide you on the 9,263,246,532 steps to completely squeeze all the juice out of the lemon that comes from being born on planet Earth- or any other planet, for that matter!

She works with every system, in every culture, in any environment, and will show YOU how to do things such as:



breathe
heal
fall in love
get over it
slow down
wonder
imagine
laugh
cry!
 
 
 

All this, and sooooo much more.

So sign up NOW to work with your own MASTER TEACHER:

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Wednesday, July 12, 2017

poem 7.12.17: for HDT on his 200th birthday "breathless, reckless"

a sense of dreams and romance-
I miss,
so predictable.
The world is so full of broken humans,
like the lonesome dove said,
but pretty to look at,
and structure is beautiful and everywhere and meaningful for
said boned and fleshed and bound and broken humans to receive and
yet
this woman's heart
longs for freedom and mystery and
a bit of a dance

summer morning, oh, you,
so full of color bubbles bursting on the dew,
do not forsake me to the dusty city
full of half crazed lost souls

let me taste your wild berries
drink your clean, cool water direct from the stream
(now, direct from the source)
lick the sap of your honey
sit at the

tired. so tired.
the trees dance
i do not think they dance for me

we've been faking happiness so long
we think maybe it's real

but nature, nature,
NATURE,
I AM THY BRIDE

I have promised you my whole heart,
my soul to your four winds,
my name to your rushing waters,
my labor to your nurturance.

I may be a mystic poet in a Hollywood woman's body and mind,
but at least for a little while,
before I am the dust of the city myself,
breathless, reckless,

I am alive.

Friday, June 16, 2017

UPDATES on everything: action thriller scripts, romantic dramedy, spy parody, and singing!

UPDATES!

Hi everyone! Just a quick update on some fun wins we have recently had....

"SPY V SPIA"
It's on its way! We are finalizing the script in conjunction with director Christopher N. Rowley and producer Gretchen Landau.... with a goal of starting filming this Autumn!
What does that mean?
Well, the next step after finalizing the script for this will they/ won't they romantic comedy with a spy parody twist web series is to put together a more exact budget, fundraise (while applying for grants and contests) and attach some star actors to fun parts. :)
I'll keep you posted on the fun developments there!



"TIME ZERO"
This is the action-thriller screenplay Carlo and I have been writing... and rewriting... and....
We just won FIRST PLACE in the Story Pros Screenwriting Contest in the action/ adventure/ thriller category!
What does that mean?
Well... it gets us one step closer to the right screenwriting manager (as separate from my wonderful acting manger and agents) and/ or producer. It gets us publicity to help sell the script so that it can be made into a movie! It's sort of like "The Bourne Identity" meets "Dead Zone," so we need a pretty big studio to make it. Cross your fingers!
"IN THREE"
This little romantic dramedy written by yours truly has placed in its second contest- the ScriptFest Comedy Contest! I haven't talked about this one as much because, quite frankly, I have a number of projects going on and I know it can kind of become confusing. I think of it like I'm a mother to twelve children, but instead of actual children I have projects. They're all important to me, and I hope for all of them to have a life of their own that becomes a part of other people's lives as well, but only certain projects take my attention at any given moment. So, this script had previously placed in the WEScreenplay Diverse Voices contest and now is a quarter-finalist in the Script-Fest Comedy Contest.
What does this mean?
Maybe the script will get attention of the right director or star. It's an indie dramedy about a middle aged woman who "has it all" until she finds out she has advanced stage 3 cancer and embarks on a very wild fling wit a much younger, newly sober man. It's a lot of fun! ;-p
BUT WAIT, ERIN, WHAT ABOUT SINGING?
I give performances every afternoon in my apartment.
In the meantime, I have a few charity events I'm performing at this autumn, and am secretly writing and recording songs that will be featured as snippets and singles connected to my web series, "Spy V Spia," (see above.)
As you all know, I really NEED to perform. And I haven't had a gig outside of a wedding in a little while... but when I asked an acquaintance of mine, who is the head of A&R at a major label, what it would take to get seen, heard, signed, sealed and delivered? He said I'd need to sell out an arena, get some kind of notice someHOW. He was honest and it got me thinking.... how can I be my Bette Midler meets Annie Lennox meets Andrea Bocelli meets Barbra Streisand meets Adele self (haha) and get my music out there? That's part of my series. While it's not a musical or an opera at all, my character is a singer. So, in episodes now and then, she will have snippets of songs that I hope to record and release alongside the series, or perhaps, after the fact. I have a few secrets that I've been saving for the right time, and I can't wait to share them with you all.... watch this space!


Kind regards, 
Erin
love love love love love

Monday, May 29, 2017

Meaning, memories, and "A Splendid Torch."

Meaning, memories, and "A Splendid Torch."
==========
Happy Memorial Day to those of you living in the States! And to all, everywhere on this little blue dot we call Earth/ home...

Memorial Day, of course, is not just a day to kick off summer by consuming a lot of burgers, be they veggie, turkey, or beef. (Although Carlo and I _did_ go to FatBurger on Saturday night.)

It's "a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered..."



Growing up in Minnesota, my Grandmother grew gorgeous gladiolas. (As pictured above.) She was an amazing gardener with all kinds of flowers but what I most remember her talking about were her African Violets and her "Glads." Every year on Memorial Day, she would delicately cut at the base of the Gladiola stalks and create stunning bouquets. Then, we would drive from her farm in rural Jackson to the town cemetery. We spent the most time at the grave of my Grandfather, as well as other distant-to-me-but-probably-not-to-her relations. I still cannot quite put it into words, but a certain feeling would come over me then, and still does now, just thinking about it... a deep sense of connection to the past, and a profound honoring of the lineage from whence I came.

In some places, gladiolas are called "Sword lilies." In Rome, gladioli were associated with gladiators. Some say that gladiators wore gladiolus corms around their necks during battles to help them win and protect them from death. Because of their association with gladiators, the gladiolus flower meaning is strength and integrity. They also symbolize infatuation. By giving a gladiolus to someone, the giver sends the message “you pierce my heart” to the receiver, because of the flower’s pointed shape. Another gladiolus meaning is remembrance.

Sometimes, it's good to remember. Not to dwell, not to dramatize, but to feel that connection to that which came before us, to the circles and cycles of possibility and love and honor and creation that has delivered us onto the world today.

So, this Memorial Day... It no longer feels exactly right to say "Happy Memorial Day" after all this.... so I will instead share my favorite quote:

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

George Bernard Shaw

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

In Three, a semi-finalist in the WeScreenplay Diverse Voices Contest

So, a while back, I had an idea for a movie about a grown up woman going through a crisis who meets a young man going through a crisis... I wrote a scene for an acting class, and then, in a fit of inspiration, wrote the whole d*** script. I put it away for a little while, and then, after learning more about structure with my stalwart #screenwriting and #life partner Carlo Carere, I reworked this script about two beautiful, hurt, funny souls going through some sh**. This is a script that I feel is true to my poetic (and weird... uh, let's say "unique") (and sexy, it's definitely a movie for grownups!) sensibilities. But I worked on structuring it in a way to take all that artsy fartsy stuff and make it commercial.

I'm kinda proud. My script is a finalist in the WeScreenplay Diverse Voices contest. :)

"In Three" written by Erin Carere

LOGLINE
When a middle-aged business woman who seemingly "has it all" discovers she has stage three ovarian cancer, she throws caution to the wind and embarks on a sexy, life-changing weekend with a newly sober, much younger man.

Also, Diverse Voices and WeScreenplay raised $2,712 for the Books for Kids Foundation!

https://www.wescreenplay.com/blog/post/diverse-voices-spring-2017-semi-finalists

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Anne With An E, and what Anne, Emily, and Maud mean to me

It's a beautiful Tuesday morning here in the City of Angels, and I'm feeling oh so very Emily-Anne, i.e., the hybrid that many of us die-hard writer type fans of Lucy Maud Montgomery and her indomitable heroines identify with. (For myself, I'd add a dash of Sara Stanley to my list as well. After all, I'm most like Anne in action and experience, most like Emily in my soul and writing, but I always feel The Story Girl is left out a little in the canon and that I am at once the creator AND performer of stories much like Miss Sara.) I spent the morning walking my dog, Henry, along an avenue full of jacaranda trees, the purple blossoms falling to our feet... in fact, I also had to navigate my dog AWAY from the leftover chicken wings and broken beer bottles that people dropped on the street likely in a drunken state... I live in a very urban area. Safe, but full of popular nightclubs, restaurants and bars. And the entire morning, while musing on the new Netflix take on the Anne series, Anne With An E, I practiced Anne Shirley's ability to focus on beauty and magic, even if sometimes she, and I, and indeed all of us, have to create it for ourselves.

Here's the thing. I tried really hard to like Anne With An E. I did. I ADORE that lead actress, AmyBeth McNulty. She is a treasure. She is an EXCELLENT Anne, even if Megan Follows was my first Anne, even before I read the books. I gave the series 5 episodes. 5! Of 7! And then I just had to stop. I just couldn't take it anymore. Perhaps if I hadn't already been an uber fan for, oh, almost my entire life... if I hadn't watched and rewatched the Sullivan/ Megan Follows series and devoured every book Lucy Maud Montgomery ever wrote, even her journals, and then wept when I had read the very last little bit that was possible to read... perhaps if I hadn't joined Anne Societies and made 100s of pen friends across the globe, some of whom I STILL write to.... perhaps if I didn't return to Anne of Green Gables every time I need comfort in my life, in every time of trauma and stress... perhaps if I hadn't talked my mother into taking me and my sister on one of the best trips of our entires lives, STILL, to Prince Edward Island when we were teenagers... 

This picture of the coastline at Prince Edward Island gives a lot of "scope for the imagination!"

I can go on and on about my incredible lifelong relationship to this 100+ year old heroine, Anne... to her creator, and to the other books and heroines of Lucy Maud Montgomery, the author who helped shape my life and whose work saved me from very dark times. Rehabs for eating disorders, depression and suicide in high school and college.... escape from bad relationships... renewal of spirit and dreams.... overcoming grief and the tragedy of premature death of my beloveds... ANNE is who I turned to. ANNE.

And why?

The beauty of Anne is that, while her troubles in life in Avonlea seem almost trivial when read on the surface (red hair and freckles seem like something that, today, a lot of us would kill to have! Thank god for Clairol!) they are actually the RELIEF from what certainly hid beneath all the surface of the actual horrors of life, to which Anne was not immune, much of which she most certainly would have gone through and which were hinted at delicately in the books. It's like this: when you're in 8th grade, going through a death at home, but tomorrow morning you have to take a math test in school. The test isn't fun or easy, most likely, but at least it's not Grandma's funeral. And you can transfer so many of those feelings that are so immense and difficult into the lesser stakes problems. Things like the test. Things like the crush you have on someone. And indeed, those problems can then have the opportunity to flow into the imagination and the magic of the world. That's what a lot of us do. It's not a bad way to cope, at least for a while. And while humanity has its darknesses, and the author, Lucy Maud Montgomery, certainly had more than her fair share of such (depression, a depressed and perhaps mentally ill husband who believed he was predestined to go to hell even though he was a minister, suicides and family shame, unrequited love with a social lesser), she found ways to choose happiness, to choose dreams, to never give up. It was so unlikely she would even WRITE Anne of Green Gables, let alone never give up and go on to create a character who is as popular today as she ever was. 

THAT inspires me. That inspires a lot of us Anne/ Emily/ Sara/ Maud fans.

So... 

Back to the new Netflix Series. I really wanted to like it. I loved the actors- moreso their hearts and intentions- and SOME of the realism I did enjoy. I don't mind new takes on old favorites. I loved watching Marilla be unable to express her feeilngs until pushed to the absolute limit. That's pretty real. That's a lot of people I know. But...

Too much, Netflix. Too dark. Too dark with not enough light. People going through incredible traumas don't need to see more trauma, and most of us turn to Anne because we need something that lightens our load without being too shallow. We need inspiration and hope, and Anne has enough of that for FIVE villages of Avonlea. Maybe for the whole world. 

You know, we don't love the film La Vita E Bella, known in English as Life Is Beautiful, because of the atrocities of humanity. We love it precisely because it gives us hope that as humans, we aren't all going to succumb to some evil, that while war can make murderers of us all, it is possible to choose something greater than the base and low instincts of survival... that sometimes, beauty and whimsy and magic are PRECISELY the road to survival.

I really look forward to seeing all of these actors again, especially AmyBeth McNulty. And the writing is excellent. Of course it is. The showrunner is beyond brilliant... but... well.... It's just not Anne.

This morning, before writing this blog, I went and google image searched the 1985 Anne, Megan Follows. When I landed upon the "blog" on the Sullivan Productions website (the people who produced the 1980s series), I began to weep. I just cried and cried and I'm crying still. I cried looking at images of Megan Follows (now on Reign,) and Jonathan Crombie (RIP.) (He was one of my first crushes, as Gilbert, and in fact, Gilbert remains the ideal for me. Thank God I have the Italian Gilbert. ;-p) But I wept almost uncontrollably for, really, not many reasons... what am I so emotional just looking at these pictures? 

Am I crying for all our innocence?
Perhaps.

Am I crying for lost dreams? Lost opportunities, mistakes and regrets of my own, marked in time by a return to Anne and her kin?
A little.

I'm definitely crying for all the hurt and lost and orphaned children near and abroad who might never find a home of decent folks to move into, for those whose lives will be cut short by violence, or grow long into pain and suffering because life wants only to continue to live.

And I'm crying for a distant memory of hope, and for a future full of it.Or, so, I pray. I truly do pray.

You see, Anne isn't about just Anne. That's why so many fans are so disturbed by the new series. It's not about antiheroes and breaking bad and ONLY the meanness of small town folks or complex class systems with unspoken rules. It's about kindness, community, flowers, magic, fairy tales that do come true, even if different than what the mind of the child invented.

And we are all children.



Me, with my Kindred Spirits button, which you can't see because my camera is... not so good. But you get the gist. ;-p