Me and Valentine's Day

 

“No, no, your girlfriend is just pretending she doesn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day…”

Guess how many of my boyfriends (not current, I only have ONE boyfriend currently, haha!) (I mean throughout the history of the men I’ve dated!) have reported back to me such comments during discussions with others about February 14^th!??!

All but one.

I am talking here about long term, serious relationships. I am talking about guys that met my parents. I am talking about men I love(d) and who love(d) me.

These are men rich and poor, foreign and local. From Little Falls, MN. From Naples, Italy. From Dusseldorf, Germany.

Only one man ever voluntarily celebrated Valentine’s Day by buying me something, and guess what?

That was and remains PERFECTLY acceptable to me.

Whahaaaaa?

I hope I don’t get banned from Hallmark’s for saying this, but, um,

I don’t really care.

“Wait a second,” you may be asking yourself now, “WHO is writing this? Is this Erin? What have you done with Erin? The one who extols the virtue of romance? The one who wrote a whole goshdurned 90 minute show about love? The one who sings, and not with any shame or hint of sarcasm, Celine Dion’s ‘The Power of Love’ in public?”

Yup. Me. That one. THE ROMANTIC.

Now let me tell you another secret.

I LOVE Valentine’s Day.

As a kid, this was my favorite holiday.

I loved buying Valentine’s and creating a special little “mailbox” made out of a show box, all covered in red construction paper with pink hearts and doilies. I love candy, chocolate, romance, perfume, all things girly and sexy. I love love. I love Valentine’s Day.

But I feel like I, like so many gals and perhaps guys, are sick of the EXPECTATION of spending money on V-Day.

I loved the cards and little notes as a kid, and in retrospect, because in order to take the time to sit down and write “to Gina, from your friend Erin,” something moves from within. Even if I’m doing it because the teacher said so, I am spending a moment to think about Gina. I am taking a moment to honor her in my life. I may even think about the fun times we’ve spent and think about how fun the upcoming birthday party will be. Who knows…

So I love the intention of Valentine’s Day, I do! I truly do.

And I don’t even mind the spending money thing. In fact, I think for certain businesses, it can be a great boon. For example, as a singer of romantic songs, this is one of my busier times for gigs! One of the day jobs I have had includes massage therapy. Another big time for extra work. As a small business owner, I certainly appreciate people wanting to invest in what I have to offer to shower their love on another person.

But I am not pretending when I tell my boyfriends, “I don’t care if you don’t buy me flowers for Valentine’s Day.”

That’s not why I am dating them. I am not dating them so that I get stuff on February 14^th.

I WILL celebrate this day, because I love love love love LOVE. I will wear pink and red and send cards and notes. I will call my niece and nephew. I will also be working, helping other people share their love.

But I won’t encourage anyone to be forced into consumerism as a display of love.

Least of all the man I love!

I can buy my own flowers, if I want them.

I prefer to let people be moved to give me gifts or send me notes or NOT. Whatever is intrinsic to THEM, be it friend, family or beau.

p.s. I have been very lucky in my life to date men who always said “I don’t need a holiday to be romantic” and were honest in saying so… But it’s the EXPECTATION of someone having to turn into something they are not that causes so much frustration in love. Find ways to love the person in front of you without needing them to want the same things you want. Just try it. And if you want flowers, do what I do! Buy them!

I LOVE YOU

HAPPY LOVE DAY

ERIN

Now Open Your Eyes- a new poem, 2-12-14

 

Mariners, wanderers, flyers o’er the fields,

I salute you in secret sorority, for I know, too, the world

Is made of more than endless days and thoughtless says,

Of board rooms, the dow, that Godotian raise.

Oh! I know the tedious glory of sunrise on the sleeping buds,

Shuddering, breaking, yawning then, creaking into blooms;

The melodies a tree can sing if you listen very closely,

The horns, the flute, the tympani, reaching in to shake ye,

And share-  oh? what? Love/? Or life? or messages

Of… nothing. As the most beautiful thought to ravage you!

And your heart, to call you to things beyond dull tribute

As the ideas so reasoned out, so rigid as what men dispute.

Wild Wanderer, That is my name.

But you can never call me by it-

Twice thunder,

            Feral hunger

           

…the calling, you see,

I’ll change my form the minute you see me again.

And I’ll laugh, I’ll howl!

            With you, at you, for you. The choice is yours.

For who am I? Who are you?

            I am the greatest against which you can rage

                        And that which makes you lovelier still

           

            I am your deepest longing,

                        Your spirit, and your self,

            Your wishes and your falling, your wings, your crash, your help,

I am the stars which shriek at night

            Just to see your face

And yet you slumber

            In disquieted repose

Forgetful of your grace

….come to me…. Come to me… and I promise you will see

a magic deeper than all roses, than all tricks, than any and every mountain mist,

than the dust you flick at tremendous skies, calling it sublime,

for I am the birth of all your fears

all your lies

and each and every desire,

and yet all your dreams,

and every prize, and every inspiration alight-

I am never home, and I am always here,

And I will never leave and I will never come

And I will never rest until you are where

I am, my love.

Now open your eyes.

Time To Say Goodbye

 

Hello, all!

You can listen to the final track from my new album, “Songs” on YouTube, featuring the lyrics:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx1iz74ZHuA&feature=youtu.be

And you can buy it on iTunes:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/dream/id789227885?i=789227888&ign-mpt=uo%3D4

Each of the songs on my album was chosen because it was a crowd favorite or specific request, and has special meaning to me as well. The last song is “Time to Say Goodbye,” also known as “Con Te Partiro.”

We know it as "Time To Say Goodbye." But in Italian, the translation is really "With You I will go..." It is a gorgeous promise of sharing a new life of love, embarking upon a new journey with the awareness of the grace of it. I feel this way both in my personal life as well as my musical life.

What I love most about music- wait... There are so many things I love most about music…. But one of my absolute favorites things is that some songs transcend the boundaries of age, life experience, and political point of view…

This song, as I have experienced as both a performer and fan, is one of those musical opportunities. I have sung this song for a lot of different kind of events, and every time, it is a song that grabs people’s attention, makes them wonder and smile.

As a singer, there is something very special that happens while singing this melody. It’s hard to describe the experience but I think it is the closest thing I can imagine to being an eagle soaring across the sky. It’s as if I’m flying, carried along on the wind of the melody, emotionally free and in utter joy. I’m not ignoring any of the physical work of it, nor am I denying any emotions, but I am taking it all with me.

By the way, THAT is why I sing.

With you, I will go. I with you.

What a love song.

Thank you for listening!

Erin