Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Here's to passing through- to meeting the love of your life- to wine, to sobriety- to ancient ruins and eternal thoughts- to stardust- to farting- to pretending not to fart- to children laughing- to arguments- to pizza- to books you have to read that turn into books you wanna read- to all night conversations- to coffee shops - to coming of age and growing old- to wayward youth that becomes your adult pride- to the way it used to be and the way it never was but could have been- to vulnerability- to the mundane, the profound, the silly, the lowdown. Here's to life, to being alive. Here's to you.
July 9th, 2013
So here I am, on a trip to the majestic mountains of Gunnison, Colorado, rewriting the screenplay version of “The One,” my one-woman show I toured a few years ago, based on the actual events of my love life. Based on.
I am currently rewriting a part of the project that is based on my high school years and even though the project is taking on a life of its own, I am reaching into the annals of both the internet and my own memory to look for what is accurate and true, and what is imagined and playful, and where the two meet and create art. Well, we can all guess that the internet and my mind are equally reliable. Er. Unreliable. Okay. Sometimes both are just outright liars.
With some distance, I can look back both painfully and poignantly at those parts of my life. Maybe it’s the epic scenery all around me, or my own romance and drama, but somehow I feel so impassioned to make things right for that 17-year-old version of me who was so full of creativity… A 17-year-old about to make a series of really stupid and sometimes tragic mistakes. I want to go back and shake that girl, grab her by the shoulders and look her in the eyes and say:
“Don’t believe anyone who tells you you can’t do what you love. Don’t follow the advice of anyone who tells you to be realistic or practical. Don’t shut down because other people fear for your future.”
If I ever give a speech at a graduation, and I’m sure I won’t because I’m too much of an upstart, that’s what I would say.
And I would tell them that from experience. I tried to do what everyone thought was “right” and what was “safe.” I did the right thing and messed up my whole life. It wasn’t until I finally started following my dreams that everything started to work out.
II understand that people were mostly worried about me not paying rent, being broke, getting taken advantage, etc. Well, all of that happens whether you do the right thing or not. I’ve always paid my rent and I’ve often been broke, but it’s kind of amazing what happens when a person is passionately pursuing her dreams and believes in them and herself: she either makes money doing what she loves, or has other support systems in place such as a day job which she is HAPPY to go to because it is servicing her true dreams.
Why don’t we teach passion?
Why don’t we teach faith in self and the ability to listen to that small, sweet voice which directs us toward our true destiny?
And sometimes that voice is loud!!
Because it doesn’t really matter if we “make it or not,” in the end. What matters is that we were true to ourselves, to our own heart, with integrity.
So now, looking back at that part of my life, I am going to look myself in the mirror, and see that 17 year old. I am going to look her right in the eyes and say, “You have an awesome life ahead of you. I promise. Just go for it.” And, I am then going to say to my self now: “And that goes for you, too.”